harry knowles.. screw spoilers, KYLO REN IS HAN AND LEIA'S SON... harry, harry, harry, hanno raudsepp wrote EVERY WORD of your review of the force awakens, EVERY FORCE-BALL crushing word.. but he was forced by the force to write it in harry-style...

We also see how the Force has evolved.  When Rey touches Luke Skywalker’s Father’s Saber – she VIBES out like Cisco on THE FLASH and see’s her past, immediate future and far future.   In EMPIRE, when Luke vision quests, we hear about it from Yoda…  but also in Rey’s sequence you hear what I could swear was Alec Guinness’ voice saying “Rey” –  THEN – there’s the mind raping stuff that Kylo tries on Rey & Poe in the film.  I mean, when Han is being tortured on Cloud City by Vader, and he tells Leia, “They didn’t even ask me any questions,” I always assumed that was how Vader baited the trap for Luke – by putting out massive friend hurt – that Luke would come running – and I still believe that’s how the Force can and does work, (See Leia’s reaction in the 3^rd act of THE FORCE AWAKENS) – but more so – what if Vader was mind raping Han too?   The possibilities are there.   Just like in THE FORCE AWAKENS, when Kylo Ren stops the blaster blast.  Vader did that in CLOUD CITY when Han shot him – and he did it at a much shorter distance – and the energy dissipated before his gloved hands.   But holding a blast – and you converse…   so dynamic.  Some may call bullshit, but I’ve always felt Vader needed to be shown being more and more powerful.   CHRONICLE style…  I mean, you know Vader could pull a Revok on someone and make their heads go boom.

And before you rage, “That’s not Star Wars,” I’m going to stop you right there.   STAR WARS is what we make of it.  It’s what the filmmakers do, what the fans do and nothing anybody does is going to take our STAR WARS away, cuz it pulses and throbs throughout our geekselves and it is awesome!

What I LOVE about this movie above all else is…  This IS JJ ABRAMS’ STAR WARS Movie.  His version of tech, his version of upping the ante viscerally with the Force.   I’ve always heard that George Lucas’ key verbal direction was “FASTER AND MORE INTENSE” – but that’s exactly what JJ did.  JJ’s STAR WARS is FASTER AND MORE INTENSE – But he does that at so many subtle ways – like having intensely bright light sabers so you can see the blades lighting the characters and their ambient environment, but by returning to more Samurai and Crusade hacking styles – you have HOLDS with the characters’ faces – and it’s great.  But the sound design, the hissing popping angry sound of Kylo Ren’s saber just is pure music to my senses.   My fave is that Flash Forward shot in the rain surrounded by SHADOW TROOPERS.   Oh man, Can’t wait for Ep 8 & 9 and see where that shot came from and its context.   THIS IS SUCH GREAT STUFF!     The blistering intensity to Ren’s sword is just…

Well, it’s exactly like KYLO REN himself.  So we know he’s the product of Han and Leia.  We know she’s a stuck up Princess that has a power complex – and we know Han would like to get drunk in cantinas and go off on adventures worth having and is most definitely not a kept man.   They’re both headstrong – and neither would back down from a fight – and growing up in that house had to be tough.  Then you have LUKE as your master – and fucking Luke – he loved his DAD.  Cuz, fuck it.  He’s my Dad man!   Sure he killed at least one PLANET load of people that we know about – and then all those Baby Jedi and your pal Obi Wan…   BUT…  in the end, though EVIL – he did the right thing.   Obviously – this idiot SKYWALKER family that turned Vader into the EMPEROR SLAYER HERO IN THE END revisionism…  Well, that makes you at the very fucking least SITH CURIOUS.

And that’s what KYLO REN is, he’s fucking SITH CURIOUS – and that’s awesome.   I’m a little evil, and oddly HOT.   Sith Babes at Conventions folks!  It’s gonna be awesome!  His skin glows, but you can bet he gets that from his mom!  Princesses always get the best skin treatments in the galaxy.  He wears the mask so people don’t get crushes on him.  And in turn, it’s a great seductive technique.   I mean we saw how that shit worked on REY…  That bondage Mind Rape sequence where she took his psychic mind balls and crushed them over his Vader Envy!   FUCKING YES! 

I hold that was a particular brand of STAR WARS awesome that I’ve never seen before.  Kylo Ren, I bet you want to be her teacher, but she learned JEDI JUDO during your interactions and now that perfect face MR VANITY, she fucked up your face cuz she loved your father better than you and to tell the truth, your Dad preferred her.  Kylo Ren, your Dad even let Rey ride Shotgun!   Poor Kylo Ren!  Bet Chewie sensed something wrong about you.   Never let you on his lap.   But KYLO grew his hair out cuz he totally had WOOKIEE ENVY too! 

I LOVE KYLO REN.   Fucking love this guy!  I can’t wait to see how SNOPES completes his training!   Hope Rian wrote the fuck out of that stuff!   I love that’s  ROCK STAR and he’s on Space Ships and at a control and he hear’s disappointing news and he just TRASHES what could very well be a vital piece of equipment.   I like to imagine an entire level of the ship losing oxygen  as a result of it.   What did that shit do?   Temper Tantrums with light sabers is nothing new to the world.   All you have to do is give a toddler a LIGHT SABER and watch them go!  But leaving behind glowing melty metal marks is just super cool.   I also love that he keeps fucking up, throughout the film.   Bet that went all the way back.  He was never the boy Han wanted.  Perhaps coddled by his mother.  Or the other way around, never smart enough for mom, I could see Han excusing everything with, “Leia, he’s just being a boy, when I was a kid you should’ve seen the trouble”  I can’t wait to talk to friends endlessly about this stuff.