Hi scarlett, Joss Whedon, it's hanno, hanno raudsepp. My address is 41 o'neil crescent, Trenton, Canada. Look up my address on the White pages in Canada on the internet under the name, Andres Raudsepp. He's my father. Look up - white pages - on the internet. Then enter the name, - Andres Raudsepp - and - Trenton - for city. You'll find two cities of Trenton for that name, on in the States, the other in Canada. My address, 41 o'neil crescent, is in Canada. Come meet me.
I know Scarlett Johannson/Johansson didn't actually prey on young men while making "under her skin". I know she was just palling around with friends at bars and they were all together filming it for fun and then the footage was stolen and without anyone's consent and put into "under her skin".
I'm not sure if the movies' been released but if it hasn't, "Under her skin" doesn't have to be released. The Matt Salinger Captain America movie had already been completed and was being already promoted in movie magazines like, I believe, "Comic Scene", with photographs from the movie in its movie article. And then, they simply decided to reshoot the movie from the very beginning. And then they never released the movie for years until it was finally released on video. It was supposed to be the other big superhero movie coming out at the same time as the original Batman.
I believe "Under her skin" can be remade as a remake of "The Killers", with Scarlett Johannson in the Ava Gardner role. The role of Kitty Scarlett/Ava's role, is very much a femme fatale damsel-in-distress role, much like the role of Eve Tessmacher I've written for Superman- the man of tomorrow.
The remake of the Killers could still be released with the very consistently on-topic movie title "Under her skin".
Loki: There is a war between the light and the dark. I feel tragic for the light. I am the tragedy of the light.. or the dark.. I'm not sure. My brother, my dear brother, what ever will happen to him. His future is a blinding sun. I can only feel a blind stomach- shared between us. The rays of the blinding sun scintillate against his hammer. Thorrrr! Aryan light. The Norse, the demonized north. The good north. Do the Avengers trajectory lie- northward?
Ext. The gravelly-ground exterior of a Russian compound. The Avengers appear.
Captain America: What is a Russian rebel nowadays.
Iron Man: Good question. I always believed I was Raskolnikov. Before I became Svigardlov.
Black Widow's eyes glint sullenly in blackened recognition of something.
Thor: Raskolnikov. A Russian hero?
Iron Man: The only Russian hero.
Black Widow: - hesitates - I think.. I met him.
Black Widow: Before my silent screen career. In Berlin, I think it was. I can't remember. My past before I became an assassin is blurry.
Iron Man: And then you became an assassin for the Avengers. Which is why we're all here.
Black Widow: Two blue fluorescent shades of blur.
Thor: The Russian rebels. They work for Russia? And are trying to topple the government of the Ukraine. I always feel I should understand politics more. Politics. My mind is always hazy with politics. They were always more Loki's foray than mine.
Black Widow: - suddenly alert – Loki... how is he?
Thor: Still...under the shadow of darkness.
Black Widow: I know that feeling. All too well. All too long.
Thor: So do I. So do I.
Iron Man: We're all death merchants now. Now that we've started the Avengers.
Captain America: I come from the land of Fargo. My real name is Steve Buscemi.
Black Widow: - spontaneously crying, gushing forth tears - My real name is William H. Macy. I'm Jerry Lundergarten. If I'm pronouncing it right.
Captain America: He was trying to rescue some kids, right? That's why they captured him at the end.
Iron man: - pause – You know the secrets of the Illuminatti, don't you.
Captain America: I come from an Ice age. I see all the ice fractals, all the white noice, between the text pixels of the screen.
Thor: I- I tried to rescue some kids once. I failed. My hammer could not save them. I could not call forth lightning to save them. Never again. What- what did I just say. - pause – What did I just say. - pause – I said words of death. Loki's death- oh, no, my poor brother.
Iron man: - uncertain what to say - Why did he want the tesseract anyway. The invasion, it was a fake-out. They failed on purpose. I'm not a genius but I could figure it out.
Captain America: They did? I thought it was hell fighting them. I guess you're the one who reads the text of battle logistics.
Iron Man: I've read “The Collapse of the Third Republic”, by William Shirer, over and over again.
Black Widow: Poor old Blum.
Black Widow: I was Mata Hari once. I was an exotic dancer in France. I had a friend I worked and played with who- she called herself Rachel. His Rachel.
Thor: Rachel. A historic name.
Captain America: I'm going in. My destiny awaits.
Captain America: I'm having a premonition of battle logistics of my own.
Captain America rushes into the column. He uses the shield to destroy the entrance iron door, like a Jedi.
Iron Man: Great. Now we're all committed.
All the Avengers enter the compound. Captain America looks through the column with restrained, enhancing franticness. He feels an accelerative doom around himself, and he feels as if he's racing with it. He rushes from room to room, ignoring his teammates.
Captain America: Where is it.
Iron Man: Is he ferreting out Russian rebels. To see if they're recruiting.
Thor: His mind waxes desperate with imagination.
Iron Man: Something is rotten in the state of the Avengers.
Black Widow is crawling toward a corner, as if seeking shelter from it.
Black Widow: - softly – I wish Hawkeye was here.
Thor: I miss Bruce.
Black Widow: - with halting tears – He was never going to stay. He never forgave himself for trying to.. for trying to...
Iron Man: For trying to kill Loki when he was the Hulk. I know what it's like to be responsible for weapons of mass destruction. But to be a weapon of mass destruction. I just don't- I just don't-
Thor: The Hulk.. was not.. himself.. Something was.. way off.. Not himself.. In a way in which I am not myself. Bruce always said he was a coward, like I myself.
Iron Man: The Hulk is and isn't Bruce Banner.
Thor: But something- something.. a.. a phase-shift.. Bruce Banner himself seemed like two people.. and not even one.. There was a missing person somewhere... a missing pi number.. an irrational noun.. a man.. an irrational man.. of erratic ways... haunted by the planetary destruction of the spectre of communism..
Thor: I believe.. I believe.. in this compound.. we are looking for another Hulk.. a friend.. a friend in great.. dire need..
Black Widow: It's me you mean. The person you're looking for.
Black Widow: Please don't say that.
Thor: What.
Black Widow: You.
Thor: I'm sorry.
Black Widow: - crying – i'ts okay, it's okay..
Captain America enters a room. He starts typing at a keyboard, which brings up video footage. He knows exactly what he's looking for. Black and white video footage, WWII footage, difficult to discern footage starts showing on the screen. A battle, a lone, grey figure in the middle. Captain America focuses the screen on the figure. The figure is dressed in a Captain America costume, but it is not the Steve Rogers we know, a different man.
Captain America: He's me. I know him.
The figure on the screen has a haunted, look. A lean and hungry look. He thinks too much. He is dangerous.
A reddish hologram in the corner suddenly illuminates itself. The other Avengers start entering the room. The hologram becomes more defined. It is a Captain America hologram, only in a different costume. The USAgent costume.
Captain America: I'm not Cap. Who's Cap. Who's that?
Captain America walks up to the USAgent hologram. A shot holds him in a state of apparent, black, complete isolation from the rest of the team. His mind is alone. Alone with the hologram figure. His hand reaches out to it.
Captain America: Hello, stranger. Long time no see.
The eyes of the USAgent flare up. Sparks start flying out of the hologram's costume. Then a machine gun materializes in the costume's hand.
Iron Man: Uh, that's a gun.
Black Widow: My kind of guy.
USAgent suddenly starts strafing the room with machine gun fire. The Avengers duck for cover:
Iron Man: Uh, that's a gun.
Thor: Let's get out of here. - concerned – Where's Black Widow.
Iron Man: She's history. I mean, where is she. Boy, she got out fast.
Thor: Wait for us.
Ext. Of the compound. Black Widow is already running out on the gravelly ground.
Black Widow: Ooh, ooh, that's harsh gravel. I'll bring shoes next time.
Suddenly, a multitude of USAgent holograms show up around the compound, an army.
Black Widow: Uh, hi guys. Feel like rescuing me.
Hologram: No. - The hologram throws a grenade at her.
Black Widow: Ahh, no! You're not supposed to do that. Whose side are you on anyway.
Hologram: Ultron's.
Black Widow: I doubt he'd approve.
The grenade blows up in front of Black Widow. She's entirely encapsulated by the explosion. The smoke dissipates. She emerges unscathed.
Loki's voice: It was a Loki illusion.
Hologram: This is not part of the program.
Black Widow: Oboy, one second. - She picks up a grenade, runs to the compound, throws it against the wall above the entrance. The wall crumbles down and the rubbles covers the open entranceway completely. - Sorry, pals. I know there was an army of USAgents collecting themselves on the inside. I can only take on so many of them. I guess we're going to have to start recruiting again. Oh, well, I make friends easily. - Black Widow engages in elaborate gymastics to evade the USAgent holograms and their grenades and machine gun fire. She makes it finally out of the compound surround area into a van and makes her escape as an avalanche starts consuming the whole compound area.
Iron Man: Where's your hammer.
Thor: I think Black Widow took it.
Iron Man: Well, I hope it helps her escape. I wish I'd built laser ammunition into this Mark model. I'm not sure how we're going to get out.
Captain America: The entranceway. Oboy, did Black Widow do this. I expected as much. Typical.
Thor: She has her reasons.
Iron Man: We knew what we were in for when we recruited an assassin for the Avengers. - pause – What's happening to the floor.
Captain America: It seems to be escaping.
Iron Man: Wise of it. I wish we had the same intellig- I can't do this. Why does Black Widow pull this shit.
Thor: Hawkeye has one of those explosion-device arrows, doesn't he. It would be useful against the blockading rubble.
Captain America: He had his reasons for robbing a bank. But I don't know why he was suspended from the team, our most valuable member. Next to Black Widow.
Iron Man: Why do we talk so much anyway while we face imminent death.
Captain America: To pass the time.
Thor laughs.
Iron Man: I guess this is it, guys. We're going to die.
Captain America: Looks like it. Wait, what the hell are we talking about. Let's get out of here.
An army of USAgent holograms starts pouring into the room. All with machine guns and grenades.
Thor: Black Widow was wise to leave.
Iron Man: Wait. You can call forth lightning- some variation of it- with my Iron Man technology, can't you. As a substitute for the hammer.
Thor: I'll try. ODIIIIINNN!
Iron Man: Oboy, I suddenly feel so Vulcan. - he passes out. Sheet lightning fills the room, explosions go off, severely wounding the remaining team. A thunder-clap happens. The Rubble blows away. The entranceway is open again. But the Avengers are lying dormant. Suddenly Loki materializes.
Loki: Apologies for my lack of punctuality.
Loki uses telikenesis to transport a van to the entranceway. He utters a silent but deafening sound.
The Avengers suddenly regain consciousness. Loki is gone.
Iron Man: What happened.
Thor: Serendipity.
They exit the compound, dragging themselves along, barely alive.
Captain America: We're'd the van come from. I'm driving. I have a healing factor.
They get in the van. They drive off and the ground is still crumbling around them.
Iron Man: Another day in the life of the Avengers. Ahh, my back. My back.
Bruce Banner / Baltar: Where am I? In Mordor. It is never going to end. The spectre is unending. Infinite. Infinite terrors. Infinite horrors. A planet of horror. A planet brought to horror. By yours truly.
Edward James Olmos: The political Mordor powers which are calling for your death are coming from some .. I don't know.. the darkest blackest Stygian regions of outer space.
Bruce Baltar: It is a region I know well.
Edward James Olmos: You were our planet's most esteemed scientist. How has it come to this?
Bruce Baltar: Because I was your planet's most esteemed scientist. - pause – Einstein. Bohr. Heisenborg. Oppenheimer. Responsible for great horrors. At least in their own imaginations.
Edward James Olmos: Who are they? I've heard you mention them frequently. But I've never....
Bruce Baltar Banner: they are from neverwhere... from nowhereland... from T.S. Eliot's wasteland... imaginations of straw...
Edward James Olmos: Is it just.. going to be like this.. just... over..
Bruce Baltar: .. maybe.. someday..
Edward James Olmos: ... someday... I have authority. I am a man of authority. I can.. arrange something. Wait for.. some people.. I know.. I know.. you have a force in you.. which you've been repressing.. I think.. these people.. they have.. monstrous healing powers... they can .. finally elicit this force..
Bruce Baltar Banner: ... no ... never...
Edward James Olmos: Never say never.
____________________
Black Widow enters the Avengers headquarters main room.
Black Widow: Hi, anyone home? Oh, sorry, I forgot. - pause - oookay, time to start recruiting. No time like the present.
Jarvis: Someone's at the door.
Black Widow: Already? I haven't even- I guess I'm telepathic.
Jarvis: I'll let her in.
Black Widow: You do that.
The Wasp wanders, somewhat frazzled and delirious, in at the behest of Jarvis.
Black Widow: Hello, waif from Pygmilian. Howdeedo.
Wasp: I'm.. I'm looking for my husband.
Black Widow: - pause - Are you sure you're at the right place.
Wasp: For looking for a husband.
Black Widow: I'm sure you're not at the right place. Yesterday would have been better.
Wasp: It would've... oh no... oh no..
Black Widow: There.. there... easy there..
Wasp: .. it's just like my husband.. when he went to prison..
Black Widow: - with sudden, uncharacteristic compassion - .. prison?... I'm sorry.. What's his name.. maybe I can help..
Wasp: Hank. Hank Pym.
Black Widow: - contouring the name in a charmingly odious manner – Pym?
Wasp: Yes.. we were ... he said.. prison was his natural home.. ever since his wife .. had been displaced.. he said he never believed she had died..
Black Widow: I don't think I believe so either. I would know.
Wasp: You would?
Black Widow: Yes. Okay, on to business before pleasure. Your name?
Wasp: What? Oh, Wasp.
Black Widow: You're an official member of the Avengers. We'll both rotate as leader. It's okay, there are only two of us so far.
Wasp: Is two of us enough to find Hank.
Black Widow: First things first. Wasp is your secret identity, right? What's your superhero name.
Wasp: Oh, Van dyne. Janet, I mean.
Black Widow: Vanderful. Ve vill find your husband.
Wasp: I'm so glad. - sniffs silently – I'm so glad.
Jarvis: Hedda?
Black Widow: Yes, Jarvis?
Jarvis: Nick Fury wants an update.
Black Widow: There's not much to tell at this point.
Jarvis: He said you met Ultron.
Black Widow: Ultron?
Jarvis: He said American senators and cabinet members are panicking. The Cold War arms race has reached a quantum hell of status and the media hasn't even reported on it. No one knows the Cold War is back at full tilt.
Black Widow: And what does this have to do with me?
Jarvis: What? I don't understand. Your mission was to find out about the Ultron project.
Black Widow: And of course I'm the last to know these things.
Wasp: .. am I.. am I supposed to know this..
Jarvis: How is she doing? I'm sorry, I'll adress you personally. I was just concerned about you. You looked anxious.
Black Widow: She should be. She's our new leader.
Wasp: I am? I mean, wow. Okay. Okay. I can do this. What's the name of the team again.
Black Widow: .. ah... ah.. I'm drawing a blank.. I wonder why...
Jarvis: The Avengers.
Black Widow: Ah, Jarvis, we'd be lost without you.
Wasp: The Avengers? Can we change the name.
Black Widow: We can't sorry, sorry. It's too late. We've got shit to avenge.
Wasp: I'm not sure... I might be underqualified...
Black Widow: Don't do that. Don't do that. Look at me. We're all in this together now. All two of us.
Jarvis: What do I tell Nick Fury.
Black Widow: Tell him the Avengers are back and here to stay.
Jarvis: - pause – I'll try to make something up.
Wasp: You do that.
Black Widow: Okay, so, are you qualified for this position.
Wasp: I think I'm overqualified. Okay, maps, maps, maps. Let's get vidual. How about we advertise our international status with colourphoto overlays of maps for Avengers ads.
Black Widow: Genius, absolute genius.
Wasp: I know. Each map is a character.. wait.. character.. chinese characters.. china is in.. it's never been out... let's use chinese characters as the connections between map coordinates on our multicultural, multinational posters.
Black Widow: Post no bills?
Wasp: We'll post lots of bills. Counterfiet express. Money, money, money..
The song, “Let's make lots of money” starts quietly, with increasing volume, playing in the background.
Black Widow: I'm glad I recruited you. We never did any of this before.
Wasp: I'm glad too. If print enough money maybe we'll have enough money to follow a paper trail so we can find Hank.. my poor Hank.. - starts crying -
Black Widow: We'll find him. That's a promise.
Wasp: Can we hologram money?
Black Widow: Oboy. Don't remind me of holograms.
Wasp: Sorry. Old habits die hard. We'll stay 2-d for now. 2-d. Checkers. How about black and white print checkers ads.
Black Widow: The world is not all black and white. Sometimes there's a lot of grey.
Wasp: .. I know.. I know.. there's a stormcloud on the horizon.. I can see it... Jarvis mentioned the underpromoted Cold War... We can make this happen... Sound effects.. lots of sound effects.. boomboxes across city's..
Nick Fury: I've heard enough. C'mon, Wasp, we need you urgently. I'm bringing you to the White House.
Black Widow: - enthusiastically – Congratulations, Wasp. I'm going to take a well-earned vacation. You're leader as long as you want the job.
Nick Fury: Absolutely. Where are the others? Haven't they made it back yet.
Black Widow: They have their reasons.
Nick Fury: - looks at Black Widow with vague suspicion, something he can't place – Yeah. Anyway, they should meet me at the White House.
Black Widow: I'll tell them where to go.
- end scene -
many months later, inside a pub. Tony Stark is sitting with a beer, watching the TV.
Tony Stark: We're never going to get out of Russia. At least the alcohols good. It's Russia, so I shouldn't get drunk on it. Something about the climate.
On the TV – a woman
Female news-anchor: And now, after a three year hiatus, the Avengers are back.
Tony Stark: Three years? I thought it'd been only three months... We're back?. Where are the cameras.
Female news-anchor: Or as they call themselves – rolling the words- the WEST coast avengers.
Captain America – arriving: But- but we're still in the east.
Female news -anchor: Their leader the Wasp is taking the podium live as we speak.
Tony Stark: Ahh, the plot thickens. Wait, the Wasp? She was going to be our first member way back. What's she doing here.
On the Tv, the Wasp appears, surrounded by microphones.
Wasp: Hear ye, hear ye. The Avengers, after a few bumps on the gravelly road, are here to stay.
Black Widow: - painful memories- ooh, ooh, ouch.
Tony Stark ooh, ooh, ouch.
Wasp: The Avengers are all media. So I introduce our first media savvy Avenger droid, the VISION.
The Vision appears, green and red in media spotlight.
The Vision: Ah, TV. My double, my shemblable. I meet my brother. My brother Anakin.
Tony Stark: - gravely – I think Thor should be here.
Captain America: I'll – one second. Anakin, I know him.
Wasp: The SCARLET WITCH.
The Scarlet Witch: .. am I .. am I supposed to be here.. I think I'm somewhere else.. my hands... my hands are empty with myself..
Wasp: Do that cute thing you do with your hands.
The Scarlet Witch: .. oh.. like crossing them... - she crosses her hands.. a red light in blocks irradiates from her intersected hands and takes over the TV screen and fills the room in the pub .. suddenly she and the Wasp have changed places, changed costumes, changed postures, changed status, changed realities..
The Scarlet Wasp: .. yippeee... media savvy hands.. my arms are lego pieces... lego princess leia.. i am all stars.. i am all wars... media mind mars princess....media mind wars...
The Witch: ... I.. I'm not sure.. what to say.. I feel all mature all of a sudden.. like a logarithm or an exponent of maturity... i'm not sure which ...
Tony Stark: We were never this complicated.
Captain America: They're women.
Tony Stark: Hey, I'm complicated, I'm complicated. I have a heart now..
Captain America: I'm not complicated. I'm waiting for the Witch to help me with my complications...
Thor – arriving - : I think we underestimated the Black Widow.
The Witch: .. maybe .. scarlet.. you should.. just.. i'm .. miin.utes.. my mind.. it's getting hazy.. intersect .. your fingers...
The Scarlet Wasp intersects her fingers...
The Scarlet Wasp: I am such a liar.
Tony Stark: No. That's me, Tony Stark. I'm complicated, remember.
The Scarlet Wasp: .. no I'm only forgetting.. if I lie a reality into being.. oh .. no .. i've started something silent by crossing my fingers.. a butterfly effect..
Tony Stark: WHAT!
The Scarlet Wasp: OH NO! It's too late I'm doomed.. wittle me is doomed.. - she coyly crosses her arms in an “I confesshh” gesture.
Another radiation zone happens. The Scarlet witch and the Wasp are back to being the Scarlet Witch and the Wasp.
The Wasp: .. hee ... hee .. see nothing goes as planned in press conferances... okay.. who'se next... Crystal..
Crystal: .. hi.. I .. I do'nt know what my powers are yet...
Black Widow:... the Wasp will figure it out.. she's that complicated... she'll make sure your powers are equivalent to her vast intellect...
Tony Stark: Wait, are there any men on this team?
Captain America: What about the Vision.
Tony Stark: He's a droid. He's their C-3PO.
Captain America: I like the Wasp. I like all the women. They seem to work well together.
Tony Stark: Yes, it looks like the men on the Avengers have been made obselete.
Wasp: I'm sorry, Black Widow, my vast intellect? Are you being sarcastic?
Black Widow – alarmed, then annoyed -: Yes.
Tony Stark: Oboy, talked too soon. Here we go.
Scene – the Russian Embassy
Russian politician: We are at a dawn of day. We have been early in the rising. Russia has risen from the grave. Darth Trupenny is swearing us to active mobility. Russia is the ghost in Hamlet. We are arising from a nightmare past, the lighetest f word o fwhich harrows up the Russian soul... We have harnessed the harowed Russian soul in nucleur fission nucleur fusion.. sorry, i forget whihc.. wih . .. which..
Reporter: ... the metaphysic s of Russian hisotory .. in nucleur realities..
Russian politicain: yes.. we are cain.. The eternal Russian is Cain.. and we have immortalized Cain in Russian technology.. I bring you.. Cain... I bring you.. Ultron...
Ultron appears, hitherto invisible.. covered by a cloaking device.. in its mechanisms..
Russain politician: .. He is the Russian soul as a nucleur weapon.. He is teh the next dimension o fnucluer detente..
Ultron:... huummmm...... Iiii... i...i ... i... ill.. i am for ...ill... u minute.. i am the minutes .. an im ill minutes... the aching minutes.. ill umintue.. minute ming the merciless. Minute mintue mintue .. manta ray.. minute i mintues.. mintue ... minutes.. it hurts.. the pain hurts.. a..aaaa.... a TEE ... a tee at e the end.. ee...
Woman reporter: Is he okay... he looks like... he is .. in pain..
Ultron: .. I'm recovered... never mind me...
Rissian politician:... you okay, old boy?....
Ultron: ... I'm okay...
Riussian politician: .. I like your Russsian accent, Ultron...
Ultron:... I've been... practicing...
Woman reporter: - almost in tears – I like him,.. I really likkee him...
Ultron:.... it's ... mutual...
Scene - back at the pub.
The TV is still on.
Wasp: I'm pissed off there aren't more men on the team.
Black Widow: That's my fault
Wasp: Damn right it is. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Black Widow: I don't know. I just don't know.
Vision: Lover's quarrel?
Wasp: I can't believe what she told me about what happened.
Black Widow: - nervously - You promised you wouldn't tell.
Wasp: I can't believe I'm keeping that promise.
Reporter: Something we should know?
Black Widow: Press conference over.! Press conference over!
Crystal: I always wondered Why does it always come down to who ate what apple.
Wasp: I thought Paris ate the apple.
Black Widow: PARIS ATE THE APPLE. But the three goddesses, beauty, power and wisdom were supposed to unleash sheer hell on the earth, sheer anarchy, courtesy of discord, the goddess Eris. HE ATE THE APPLE. Oh, God, oh, God, what are we gonna do now.
Thor: I think Ragnorack is coming early.
Tony Stark: I don't think these women are going to survive the boardroom. I hope Crystal and the Scarlet Witch are okay. The two others I think- they are Elizabeth Jarosz and Jennifer Massey. They'll make it far.
__________
Tony Stark: I'm back in my corporate headquarters. I'm giving the Avengers a rest. I'm glad I got out early while the going was good.
Jarvis: Mr. Stark.. Tony... a woman Van Dyne is here..
Tony Stark: Von dyne?... intewesting...
Jarvis: Should I let her in.
Tony Stark: By all means.
Janet Van Dyne enters.
Wasp: Tonneeee... I neeeed heelp...
Tony Stark: Red flag to a bull.
Wasp: ... I'm a little tea cup short and stout...
Tony Stark: Are you insane?
Wasp: .. maybbeee.. maybe..
Tony Star: I'm sorry.. that was rude.. I'm just.. I'm not used.. uisid.. still not used.. to having a heart..
Wasp: .. sniff... I know the feeling... I'm... I'm looking for my husband... I hi think he may have known no you..
Tony Star:
______________
Loki on a spaceship.
Cylon #1: Our invasion of earth went as planned.
Loki: I'm glad none of you got hurt.
Cylon 1: Impossible.
Loki: Impossible for a god too. But I've got to talk to Bruce immediately. He can't survive this... this nightmare...
Cylon 1: Impossible.
Loki: I .. don't understand... We've come so far... various Midgard serpents invaded earth... we've reached a union of the industrial, the organic and the mythic.. the orgainic.. which is just.. since the garden tree in the apple o f Eden.. whic h is unprecedented...
Cylon 1: Alchemy notwithstanding.. we just can't.. Baltar's will is too strong...
Loki: Maybe if you'd given him one o f your starships..
Cylon 1: He wouldn't accept... He wasn't like his predecessor...
Loki: He's gone through .. a s myany parallel realitis of himsefl.. as i have of myself.. we are simply the saem man...
Cylon 2: Maybe.. there can be a compromise p...
Loki: .. i am a man always willing to compromise...
Cylon 2: .. he is prone to .. hallucinatations..
Loki: .. so am I .. I hallucinated the Hulk...
Cylon 2: .. he feels the guilt of it...
Loki: .. i known.. .i know...
Loki: The winsome warsome ways which Fulvia taught me... dear Fulvia... full of fulvianesss. With her stufumullaceoussousnesss hair... I think I pronounced it right.. the wasome hair of fulvia... hair at war.. with itself.. order out of chaos.. fractal hair.. the dear Scarlet witchcs's hair... vecotr curls.. the nervous system of the hair.. crysa'ta'ls hair.. meusdeus.. medusa's hair.. chrysalids of hair.. a crystal palace.. a a tiara..
INT. A dark metal room
Ultron: I'm.. circuitry in motion.. circuitry in solitude.. in black solitutude... in black heart solitude.. circuitry in motion and solitude.. circuitry all sound and fury signifying.. nothing... scrambled nets ... I'm all a' brambles.. mad as the brambles am I .. a mad god am I .. not a safe place for a nucluer bomb..
The Beyonder: Maybe I can help.
Ultron: Who are you?
The Beyonder: - smiles – Is that.. polite?
Ultron: Etiquette is not my formality. I'm all about the formality of war. Not the formality of manners.
The Beyonder: I'd expect nothing less from a robot.
Ultron: Am I a robot as a man is a man? Many questions, too many questions.
The Beyonder: I .. understand ... questions.. I am .. a question.. a question tesseract fabric in space and time... i am a riddling polyhedron..
Ultron: Sounds familiar.
The Beyonder: I.. i cam.. came.. as a .. witches vision.. into your reality... an .. angular-speaking reality seeker who sought me..
Ultron: There are many who seek me.. many who seek my motives like a motiveless malignity.. my motives are Robin Hoods arrows...The Russians want me to be a Robin Hood.. a russian Robin Hood.. who steals nucleur secrets from the rich and disseminates radiation to the poor...
The Beyonder: It's not easy.. being red...
Ultron: .. no.. better dead than red I hear... but better dead than autumn.. than a nucleur autumn.. than an autumn for genocide..
The Beyonder:.. genocide.. that is what they want you for isn't it.. that is their agenda..
Ultron: It's what they built me for..
The Beyonder: .. it doesn't.. it doesn't have to be that.. we can make a difference.. the two of us.. we're all in this together now..
Ultron: You have a power... I sense it.. which is as light as your little finger.. a gracefull tipping power.. a Buster Keatonish power.. your power is a sleight of hand... mine is .. an enigma of wastelands.. of holocaust wastelands...
The Beyonder: .. no .. it's over... The Ultron project is finished.. Come with me.
Tony Stark: So, Wasp, let's see. You bring the dinar, a foreign currency, all I'll bring the dinner, the foreign charm..
Wasp: Sounds gooddeee to me.
Tony Stark: My first date in a while. Hope it'll help you forget about Hank for a while.
Wasp: - crying – I'll never forget about Hank.
Tony Stark: Look at me. Look at me. Don't do that. We've both got to be strong for Hank.
Wasp: I will.. I will.. So.. what's next on the menu for the Avengers.. I know- how about Avengers promotion ads based on restaurent menus.
Tony Stark: Genius.. sheer genius.. no wonder the Black Widow hired you. She knows her business.
Wasp: She does.. she really does... I'm glad we're all finally on the same page.. I missed the .. the east coast avengers?...
Tony Stark: Uh, yep, yep, that's us... uh, the east coast – starts laughing -
Wasp: So we're finally bringing the east and the west together. I know, how about an ad based on the Berlin wall, or the wall in Israel, I think there's at least one.. it's all today.. it's all relevant..
Tony Stark: .. wow.. you're always on.. aren't you.. you're always.. always thinking..
Wasp: - sniff – it'll all help me find my poor Hank.. my poor Hank..
Tony Stark: Last you mentioned he might be in prison. Maybe Chicken George can get him out. He's good at that. That's his specialty.
Wasp: It is? I'm glad to hear that.
Tony Stark: Me too. Me too. I think we can do this. Another member can't hurt.
Wasp: No it can't.. it really can't...
Hank Pym: It's over, before it's even begun. There is no war so unfriendly it's not crawling with webs.. the war of webbing.. of sonar webbing.. of deep black.. there is a surveillance web across the planet which .. boggles the mind.. among other things..
Doctor Doom: This is how we do this. You are in here with me, in my prison-state. We are going to be ... ah.. I am here. Here. Nowhere else. In a town of .. nothing. I'm nothing. I'm Ethan Hawke.
Hank Pym: Ethan Hawke?
Doctor Doom: I wish I had his wit though... his intellect.. 140 IQ... ten units away from a philosophy degree.. but instead I became leader of Latveria. Just my luck.
Hank Pym: Latveria really is a worthless country.
Doctor Doom: You think? Ya think?
Hank Pym: I hope you're not upset.
Doctor Doom: Why would you think that? It's not its fault its currency has declined into the abyss.
Hank Pym: That's what I was saying- it's not Latveria's fault if it is a worthless country.
Doctor Doom: You're extremely considerate of my feelings, and as a dictator I appreciate that.
Hank Pym: I'm going to take a drive.
Doctor Doom: First have a beer. On me.
Hank Pym: 'preciate it. First-class all the way with Latverian etiquette. Thank God you loosened the drunk driving laws in Latveria. An island of sanity Latveria is.
Doctor Doom: It's why I'm dictator. Albiet a benevolent one.
Tony Stark: She wanted it. I could see it in her eyes. C'mon. She wanted it. So I let her steal the magazine.
Wasp: You were working at a newsstand and you were so nice to the customers.
Tony Stark: You are all my customers. Courtesy of Stark enterprises. C'mere.
Wasp: I love you! You will be my second husband. Or my a third. Who said there were no husbands on the team.
Bruce Banner: Work. It's all about the work.
Wonder Man: I'm glad you finally found me. I was lost as Hell. In Hell. The Hulk is a curse. A year. A whole year without a relapse. And then Avengers happenned, courtesy of the Black Widow, doing the thing, well, which she does. It's why I tried to kill her. The Hulk was furious. He like his vacation.
Bruce Banner: So were the mice also furious when they found out what happenned to my planet. They deal in planets. Giant computer-planets.
Loki: Bruce can't survive the Soviet nightmare. The Soviets were part of his genisis as the Hulk. Then the Americans took over. Just like WWII. The Hulk is WWIII. World War Hulk is coming.
EXT. In an empty, desert-like terrain..
Black Widow: I'm just.. waiting.. wasting... waiting.. just waiting waitin' – cries softly – ... like a battle-zone ground..
Ultron: Are you okay?
Black Widow: ... I'm... I'm in Mordor.. or just starting my journey.. to Mordor..
Ultron: Mordor is my heart. Maybe I can help.
Black Widow: Your heart? My heart? Your heart. My heart? My heart.
Ultron: There is a darkness shame-wounded by our sins..
Black Widow: .. shame-wounded by our sins our souls cling to us the more the more...
Ultron: You live under the cast of darkness.. I dearly want to help you.. here's an umbrella..
Black Widow: I am its.. the darkness's .. eternal stranger.. an eternal stranger.. of the darkness.. I'm Raskolnikov. Darkness is in our souls is it not? I never, can ... SPEAK to anyone. When I speak, I'm on verbal autopoiesis, like Hamlet, just talking and talking, like my talking voice has become a machine, I'm a machine, a self-propelling machine, with surreal, malign motives of its own, a voice alien to myself. My speech is an alien tongue. My voice.. it styx.. it just.. it warbles.. like a ghost.. like I'm my voice and I'm a ghost thick with sadness.. a soupy voice.. a soupy me.. a soupy dread voice me..
Ultron: .. - quietly – I have done much study in voices. So have you. It can be your salvation. And.. mine.
Tony Stark: Sow we have begun the worwk... it is like the start of a new milleneum.. a new avengers...
Scarlett Black Widow: .. i'm nude for the avengers..
Loki: I like that avbout you..
Tony Stark: and there is a maember who is unnacounted for..
Bruce Banner: .. a hi...
Tony Stark: .. a h dr. Banner.. I\'m a huge fan of your work.. on the laser potentioal of nucleur fission for iron man mrarks.. and i'm a a a big fan of how you turn into a big huge asdkljlk monseter...
Bruce Banner:.. ahh yess that...
Tonyh Star: .. a hate the toronto star.. the name too much resembles my own .. tony star .. toronto star... i think i am goig to be a plague on mutants. .. on humanity itslef .. some of my best bfriends are peoaple.. why do ia ta;k so garbled anyway... must be the circuitry still left in my heart..
Loki: .. it's my fault..
Tony starkent: ahh.. everything's your fault ..loki meboy.. that's why your just like me.. the tony stark of the norse gods..
Loki: ... i am my own bane... i break my own back fo r the norse pathnetahean... a black panther... i dreamed of a black bpanther..
Tony stark: .. that quote about a cracked lookinglass is damned boody good ...
Scarlet Black Widow: .. my nude body boody... i'm a boody witch...
Scarlet Witch: ... so we're both nude witches... we both can make merry and understand the quest of macbeth.. the quest of macbeth if is the avengers project..
Rtony Stark: I am macbeth .. forevermore.. tomorrow and tomroowos.. and o tomorrow.. all our yeastuy daays to dusky death.. the death of the avengers is coming soon... with or withou the help of the Black widow.. the a harbinger of death..
Black Widow: .. a i brought the avengers back only to let them diae ... dia e ana .. dianatics.. nude daianea.. the daienea.. the furies seek my soul.. as if i were an orestes...
Scarlet Witch: .. does that make me electra.. the naked electra .. naked in soul and ambition.. naked as the cutting edge of a knife.. her soul a naked razor's edge.. lieke my powers.. , m like me.. lieke..
Black Widow:... tomorrow and tomorrow..
________
INT. A mental institution.
Havok and Black Widow are both naked. They both approach a child, Joshua Nagy, who is dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, who is alone in a corner.
Havok: Are you okay? Chicken George and Cable are in the next room. Along with Ultron. We're all fighting to get you out. The Beyonder freed Ultron to do his work.. but.. even the Beyonder's powers don't extend into mental institutions.. so we had to fight our way in...
Black Widow: Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay?
EXT of mental institutions
News Journalist: - to camera – The Avengers have invaded a mental institution, or rather, a drug den, containing children who have been abducted. One child, in particular, Joshua Nagy, has been abducted time and time again. Police are said to be running a child-abduction operation.
Policeman: Turn that off. Turn that off. Give that to me.
Journalist: The footage has already beens sent to the computers at news headquarters.
Policeman: Okay, that's it. You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. And that's all the rights you have. Let's go.
Journalist: What, but I haven't done anything. What about my right to an attorney.
Policeman: What about it. Who told you you had that right. I've never heard of such a thing. Let's go.
Naked Rogue is outside, with nice cops.
Naked Rogue: Joshua Nagy is my son! Joshua Nagy is my son! Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!
Nice cop: Cable's team is working on it. We'll save him. We'll save him.
____________
Tony Stark: ... the canadian coin is drooping, like rains of silk... a silken woven curtain.. the night curtain of russia.. russia and canada...
nude Black Widow: .. the night is a curtain on my breasts.. my two nude breasts.. . contumely.. a night forlorn.. my sad breasts..
Loki: .. i've never felt a fatalism of soul except with you.
Nude Black Widow: .. my vagina has secrets in it which are not nice.
Loki: .. the only cave i know is the cave of the Hulk.. the Osama of our generation.
Nude Black Widow: - crying - .. it was never.. never.. never meant to be like this.
Loki: .. it somehow is .
Nude Black Widow: this is the end.. my only friend... the end..
Loki – crying : .. the death of a world..
Nude Black Widow – crying: the planet in decay.. a decay a holy grail.. a grail to decayed to hold the water turned blood for Christ.. my blood in the decayed grail..
Loki: .. my blood too..
nude Black Widow: .. all the avengers blood..
Scarlet Witch: .. the blood of the Scarlet witch..
Loki: blood leaks scarlet..
Scarlet Witch: .. my blood is the colour of night.. the colour of stars.. i am a zodica .. a zodiac.. a zohar..
nude Black Widow: .. the cabala .. with its chewy mystic letters.. chewed like soil..
Scarlet Witch: .. the sol the soil is my soil of sun.. i am the sun.. i am the sunspot soils of son of sun.. i am a soiled sun.. the son of Christ is my soul..
Loki: .. there were three sons in the war of the roses.. a war over the grail..
Scarlet Witch: .. i was joan of arc
Loki: i was renee d'anjou, her mentor.. i gave birth to the renaissance.. joan of arc was its crusader.. she was the crusader of the renaissance..
Scarlet Witch: .. that's the the't thet's what wittle me was..
nude Black Widow: .. who was i.. who was i.. anna.. of the okhrana?... i always felt i had a history.. with the tsarist secret police..
Scarlet Witch: i am the future of the tsarist secret police.. i am the future of the okhrana.. the arcana.. renamed after me.. i am arcana..
Loki: - weeping - this is nothing.. nothing like the future i imagined for you.. i meant to be a future.. the future was my choice.. all my choice.. i made future.. i made history.. history is my fault.. all my fault..
nude Black Widow – weeping - : no it's mine.. it's mine .. it's mine.. it's mine mind...the history of planet earth is my mind.. history is mind.. my mind..
Black Widow: Tony, I need help.
Tony Stark: .. red flag to a bull in
China... Let's call Ultron.
Ultron: At your service..
Tony Stark: We need a mole on the
team.
Ultron: Ohoh. That's my cue to leave.
Tony Stark: ... uh, wait./ Let's talk
about this.
Ultron: What's to talk about. You've
hurt my feelings.
Loki: .. mine too..
Tony Stark: Aw, c'mon guys.
Ultron: I'm so Pinocchio.
Black Widow: I'm off to racist recruit
more members.
Tony Stark: You do that. Wait, lemee
think. You recruited the Wasp already. I forget.
Black Widwo: - coldly – Yes. I did.
She's a bitch.
Ultron, Loki: oooohhhh..
Tony Stark: Wait, she is? First I
heard of it?
Black Widow: You don't know her, like
I do.
Wap Wasp: You're the bitch not me!
Black Widow: I know you are but what
am I?
Wasp: Wait, I'm fuck confused. You're
confusing me. You are.. You do that.
Jarvis: Yes?
Wasp: That's your not entrance.
Jarvis: I thought it was.
Black Widow: I'm getting out of here
where its left struffy imean sturfy imean left ... arrrghh.. stuffy..
This is like grand sentry centrally arrrgghh controlled station..
Jarvs: irirish idifident dignified –
I am not sturfy..
Black Widow: Yes you are.
Tpm Tony Stark: That settles it. -
slams the desk – bitches, bitches, bitches..
Black Widow, Wasp, Loki: Yes?
Tony Stark: That's it, all three of
you. Out. I've hade enogh of youzze..
Btu Bruce Banner Baltar: Is that my
entrance?.. .
Tony Stark: oh, great, the cavalry's
here.. I – can't – evem – tj – thing..
Thor: That's not good.
Banner: We're a time bomb.
Thor: That's not good.
Black Widow: You'r e both naive if -
Everyone: FUCK OFF!
Tony Stark: It's like grand central
station. Fuzzy logic. Fuzzy thinking. Liberal thinking. So not
me. There – are – too – many – avengers – on – this
team.
Black Widow: Not evnough women.
Tony Stark: Fuck off?
Jarvis: Michael Agee is here.
Loki: Good.
Loki: I'll arrange our exit. For my
own reasons. - he materializes a golden lasso around the team and
they all disappear -
Michael Agee: Ah, just in time.
Jarvis: At your service.
Loki: I hate Michael Agee and
everything h e stands for.
Michael Aggeee: We'll get along
splenda edly.
Loki: No doubt.
Michael Agee: So whose first on the
list.
Wasp: Whittlleee me.
Loki: The time bomb didn't work. Here
we go all over again.
Michael Agee: This is no place for
amateurs.
Loki: What?
Wasp: - defensively – I'm not an
amateur, Michael Agee.
Loki: Phheww.
Wasp: I don't have to memorize
dialaaggue dialect no dialogue sorry..
Michael Agee: That's not socratic
method.
Wap Wasp: Ahhhwwww – Gawwd.. -
Leaves -
Michael Agee: That got rid of her.
Loki: You're Hydra hydra agen't you.
Michael Agee: I'm an open book aren't
i.
Wasp: I'm back.
Michael Agee: That was quick. Very
impressive. Mabe we should hire her. Queen Map.. The Wasp.
Wasp: I'm nake naked by the sea. But
the wag, I'm no longer the Wap. No, no, I ruined th e punch line.
I'm no longer the Wap. No, no. Okay. Let's do this. I'm nolonger
the Wasp. I'm the Wap.
Ultron: Wap's whap.
Wap: Oh, ultron. You saved me I new
you'd save me from that that-
Michael Agee: Saleseman. Slavish
devotee of the art.
Wap: Yes!! I mean, salesman! I mean,
uh, what?
Michael Agee: Just my luck.
Ultron: .. an mine.. i have to go.. i
love everything about you, wasp, by the way...
Wasp?: .. nooooo n! . n..n.. n..
nude Black Widow: .. my butt is
butter.. it is like the melting solace of the will.. my nude butt is
melting will... i .. am.. nude.. in .. summer.. i am summernude.. i
prance nude by the lilies.. my prancing nude butt is like a melting
butterknife.. my nude butt is a knife.. my nude butt cuts at the
touch.. it is silver..
Loki: You have a vivid imagination..
nude Black Widow: - smiling giddily –
you find my nude breasts a vivid imagination?.. my nude butt and nude
breasts are joined together by the contour of a question mark.. they
slip by vivid discs of metaphysics into a breastcircumferance joining
together their mutual round globes into planetary symbolism..
Loki: .. i am .. familiar with
planetary symbolism..
nude Black Widow: ..i .- in rapsodic
joy – KNOW you are... i am going to be pubic in abyss.. i am pubic
in the abyss of annihilus.. my pubic region is anti-matter.. an
anti-matter zone...
Loki: .. i'm afraid .. i won't be able
to .. beat annihilus...
nude Black Widow: .. that's where i
come in ..
annihilus: the pgymy dawn is .. wait..
i didn't pronounce that right.. the pygmy .. ah.. dawn is .. wait..
something's still not right.. i'm not sure what pygmy dawn means.. i
at least i can spell it correctly but that's not much help.. i am a
boring supervillain..
nude Black Widow: .. no you're not..
you're my friend..
annihilus: .. i wish to be.. but it
was not meant to be..
nude Black Widow: .. yeth it wasth.. i
am never going to be naked in surplus without your help..
annihilus: .. i aim to please..
nude Black Widow: .. yippeee... oops...
nude Black Widow: my two nude
breasts..
Tony Stark: FUCK fuck fuck..
nude Black Widow: What?
Loki: I don't understand.. what is
wrong with her..
Tony Stark: .. nothing.. nothing ..
it's not her.. it's me..
Loki: .. i believe so..
Tony Stark: .. don't let it happen
again..
nude Black Widow:...okay..
Tony Stark: FUCK!
Batman: Tony Stark, it's time to begin
the work..
Tony Stark: .. i know .. i know.. i
just.. want some alcohol..
Batman: .. i don't drink.. ever..
Tony Stark: .. if it's all the same to
me.. well.. anyway..
Batman: .. how much of that do you
drink a day..
Tony Stark: .. i don't keep count..
Batman: What?
Tony Stark: I don't keep count.
Batman: What?
Tony Stark: i don't keep.. count..
what's wrong .. you look sick..
Batman: never mind.. i think i'll have
some alcohol..
Tony Stark: .. good idea..
Batman: - drinks some alcohol –
okay.. so .. about .. wait.. are we.. together .. in this.. because..
i feel.. i am definitely drunk..
Tony Stark: .. but .. you haven't
touched it yet..
Batman: .. no .. i was only..
pretending..
Tony Stark: .. but.. but.. that's not
how you drink alcohol..
Batman: no.. it isn't..
Tony Stark: .. so .. we're at a
quagmire..
Batman: .. yes.. indeed we are..
Tony Stark: .. i kind of feel...
maybe.. we weren't meant to meet..
Barman: i get that feeling too..
Avenger s age of ultron plot summary notes
Bitter blackmail is the russian bride
olga chaikheeva mafia, which black widow runs...
Svetlana is a black widow russian bride
who tony stark spends the movie looking for.. my poor hank..
refrain... brings back memories.. distant.. memories.. of ..
vietnam?..
black widow knows the black widow
business like the back of her butt... she KNOWS russian brides.. she
hasn't met any of them but she runs the business... she stows them
away on ships so she doesn't have to pay for their transport.. the
men can find them .. on the ship.. if they look hard enough... she
works in a dingy office.. because she's underpaid.. Ultron knows
russia.. this will help her find ultron again when he goes back to
russia.. inescapably.. he has relatives there... other ultron marks..
he's worried about them... she needs to build channels to russia..
the secretest most undership channels.. mr underhill.. that's her..
she is journeying through the dark russian winter forest to find
mordor .. where ultron resides.. she loves ultron... ultron is the
core of mordor..
is Russian brides based on thank you notes?
_________________
Iron Man / Tony Stark - Robert Downey Jr.
Bruce Banner - James Callis
Loki - Tom Hiddleton
Naked Black Widow - Naked nude Scarlett Johansson
John Walker Captain America - Chris Evans
Steve Rogers Captain America - Mikey Jerome
Thor - Chris Farnsworth - I think that's his name
Wonder man - Mark Ruffalo - I think that's his name
Ben Kingsley - Jarvis
Naked Wasp / Naked Janet Van Dyne - Naked Kate Moss
Scarlet Witch - Mary / Kate / Ashley / Olsen
Crystal - Sarah Underwood
The Vision - Bronson Pinchot
Hank Pym - Johnny Depp
The Beyonder - Chad Michael Murray
Doctor Doom - Hanno Raudsepp
Cable - Michael Tarshi
Chicken George as himself
Havok - Hanno Raudsepp
Naked Rogue - Naked Savannah Samson
Bruce Wayne / Batman : Christian Bale
and
Robert deNiro as Ultron
Batman: The cops are using cell-phones to track me. I'll never escape them as long as I carry a cell phone. The cell-phone tracking technology is most likely built into the police cars. They can geographically track the exact location of anyone carrying a cell-phone or in a limousine, which usually has a built-in cell-phone. It's most likely a satellite-managed satellite-coordinating and targeting technology. A pay phone at Wendy's is a good place to call from. Thank God Bell isn't the only company doing pay phones any more.
This is a message from Hanno Raudsepp, using the identity of Batman: There's been an epidemic of women shooting females in the privates in Hollywood, females like celebrities, producers, extras. Scarlett Johannson may be in great danger. Ask her if she's okay. It's important that doctors from the show "E.R", who I believe are real doctors, especially Eriq la Salle, and Donald Sutherland, of the TV movie "Bethune", who probably knows a lot about Chinese medicine, are involved in treating them. Chinese medicine, I'm not certain, but I believe involves medicinal colour-schemes, and I know Chinese medicine involves a rigid sense of precision. Definitely call Anthony Edwards and Noah Whyle as well. The other doctor/actors from "E.R" will know there own areas of specialty. George Cloony might know something about using an oxygen-tank to de-alcoholise the blood, as the victimized women will naturally and logically and healthily have been drinking alcohol to numb the pain. Julianna Margolis might be able to use prodigious diplomatic skills to negotiate through the hospital beaurocracy. There was something that had to do with, I believe, de-alcoholizing the blood with a device involving, sorry, oxygen, on the first episode of "E.R". Noah Whylie may know much about biofeedback, a fairly simple method of monitoring I'm not sure, the pulse, circulation, through a feedback signal monitoring device. Maybe Thomas Gibson alone on "Chicago Hope" would qualify as an excellent doctor. Peter Berg might be good at getting through hospital red tape. And Mandi Patinkan and Christine Lahti might have studied more esoteric forms of medicine. And that the victimized women assist at their own surgery. It's important that the "E.R" doctors choose the hospital at which the victimized women are operated on, because some hospitals may be partially mob-run, although those same partially mob-run hospitals will have legitimate agencies working for them as well, which will allow for restaurant food to be brought in for the afflicted women. It is important that, if the victimized women are left in seclusion, that bodyguards of the ilk of Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Shwarzenegger and Daniel Day Lewis be guarding the doors, or that the victimized women, if they wish, be in a crowded hospital room, where they can be protected by the fans for whom they sign autographs. Glubb Pasha fans unite!
P.S.
Miso soup, the kind with spinach and little square tofus in them, would be good for the victimized women to drink while in the hospital. And also maybe herbal tea, like earl grey tea. Not peppermint tea though. That gives a stomach ache aka heartburn. Also, take the tea bag out of earl grey tea fairly quickly to avoid a stomach ache. "Tums" is an ideal pill- take two- for a stomach ache. The complete relieving effects should be relatively instantaneous.
P.S.
The male doctor who came after Eriq La Salle and Laura Innes in the "and" area of the credit sequence of "E.R", I forget his name, I believe is extremely, extremely important.
P.S.
Most likely there are innocent women who are shooters in Hollywood who shoot blindly but may cause grevious damage to women like Kate Moss. Women shooters who are extremely remorseful. Call Obama to get Kipland Kinkel out of prison so Kipland can work as a social therapist for these women, a personal therapist who's been there. This could stop further blind shootings. Not the deliberate one's in which horrible women shoot deliberately into the privates of female, but the blind ones which are committed by women with no free will.
P.S.
Call Travis Stork from "The Bachelor". And Andy, the most popular bachelor. And any other bachelor whose been a doctor. But especially Travis Stork. I believe he's a hellraiser.
P.S.
Maybe some of Johnny Depp's former bouncers at the nightclub he used to own could also be employed as bodyguards for the women and for the rooms they're in.
P.S.
Call Michael Sabatino as an uber-resourcefull bodyguard. He's a big, tall guy, very tall. I've imagined him as Mr. Fantastic for a long, long time. Also call Matthew Fox and Josh Holloway- aka John Constantine- as bodyguards. Make sure teeny Evangiline Lilly is okay.
P.S.
Megan Gale and Daryll Hannah may be in great danger.
P.S.
Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield may be in great danger. As well as Kate Moss. Make sure they're out of Hollywood. A safe place should be an eskimo reservation. Tiffany Fallon as well. Heath Ledger left me a one word message- "eskimo". I couldn't get this message in its complete state on my webpage.
Batman: There was a heroic young black doctor on a pivotal episode of "E.R." who was devoted to saying the life of a preemie, a prematurely born baby. I believe the doctor/actor who played the devil's advocate "doctor" on that episode is equally important as the black doctor/actor in reality to saving the lives of preemies. I believe the actor who played the devils advocate doctor character on that episode might have spent the rest of his life studying how to rescue preemies, prematurely born babies, to make up for his role in that episode.
Batman: Batman believes in the VIA rail.
Batman: Is John Travolta a qualified pilot? Or Tom Cruise for that matter? Or Ryan Reynolds? Pilots who are Gulf War veterans are most likely veterans who were former POW's and were abused/tortured and "programmed". The fact that some of them were prosecuted when they came home for missing child support payments while they were prisoners in Iraq may have also been a part of their programming. But make sure John Travolta is completely free of scientology programming before he is allowed to pilot.
Batman: Hmh. Another message I can't get on to my webpage completely. Batman believes Kipland Kinkel is the reincarnation of Douglas MacArthur. He is Kipland Kinkel MacArthur. Both were obsessed with China. Douglas MacArthur was trying to manipulate the Korean War into an American war against China. Probably with good reason.
Batman: CALL MICHAEL TARSHI- sorry for the capitalizations- he'll be able to figure out the potential hospital-police labyrinth
Batman: The cops are using cell-phones to track me. I'll never escape them as long as I carry a cell phone. The cell-phone tracking technology is most likely built into the police cars. They can geographically track the exact location of anyone carrying a cell-phone or in a limousine, which usually has a built-in cell-phone. It's most likely a satellite-managed satellite-coordinating and targeting technology. A pay phone at Wendy's is a good place to call from. Thank God Bell isn't the only company doing pay phones any more.
Batman: There is an active VIA rail in Canada which goes to small towns. One can take a cab from the small towns to other nearby towns.
