URGENT message from hanno about Scarlett Johannson

This is Hanno.  My email is hraudsepp@aol.com

This is a message from Hanno Raudsepp, using the identity of Batman:  There's been an epidemic of women shooting females in the privates in Hollywood, females like celebrities, producers, extras.  Scarlett Johannson may be in great danger. Ask her if she's okay. It's important that doctors from the show "E.R", who I believe are real doctors, especially Eriq la Salle, and Donald Sutherland, of the TV movie "Bethune", who probably knows a lot about Chinese medicine, are involved in treating them.  Chinese medicine, I'm not certain, but I believe involves medicinal colour-schemes, and I know Chinese medicine involves a rigid sense of precision.  Definitely call Anthony Edwards and Noah Whyle as well.  The other doctor/actors from "E.R" will know there own areas of specialty. George Cloony might know something about using an oxygen-tank to de-alcoholise the blood, as the victimized women will naturally and logically and healthily have been drinking alcohol to numb the pain.  Julianna Margolis might be able to use prodigious diplomatic skills to negotiate through the hospital beaurocracy. There was something that had to do with, I believe, de-alcoholizing the blood with a device involving, sorry, oxygen, on the first episode of "E.R".  Noah Whylie may know much about biofeedback, a fairly simple method of monitoring I'm not sure, the pulse, circulation, through a feedback signal monitoring device.  Maybe Thomas Gibson alone on "Chicago Hope" would qualify as an excellent doctor.  Peter Berg might be good at getting through hospital red tape.  And Mandi Patinkan and Christine Lahti might have studied more esoteric forms of medicine.  And that the victimized women assist at their own surgery.  It's important that the "E.R" doctors choose the hospital at which the victimized women are operated on, because some hospitals may be partially mob-run, although those same partially mob-run hospitals will have legitimate agencies working for them as well, which will allow for restaurant food to be brought in for the afflicted women.  It is important that, if the victimized women are left in seclusion, that bodyguards of the ilk of Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Shwarzenegger and Daniel Day Lewis be guarding the doors, or that the victimized women, if they wish, be in a crowded hospital room, where they can be protected by the fans for whom they sign autographs.  Glubb Pasha fans unite!

P.S.

Miso soup, the kind with spinach and little square tofus in them, would be good for the victimized women to drink while in the hospital.  And also maybe herbal tea, like earl grey tea.  Not peppermint tea though.  That gives a stomach ache aka heartburn.  Also, take the tea bag out of earl grey tea fairly quickly to avoid a stomach ache. "Tums" is an ideal pill- take two- for a stomach ache.  The complete relieving effects are instantaneous.

P.S.

The male doctor who came after Eriq La Salle and Laura Innes in the "and" area of the credit sequence of "E.R", I forget his name, I believe is extremely, extremely important. 

P.S.

Most likely there are innocent women who are shooters in Hollywood who shoot blindly but may cause grevious damage to women like Kate Moss.  Women shooters who are extremely remorseful.  Call Obama to get Kipland Kinkel out of prison so Kipland can work as a social therapist for these women, a personal therapist who's been there.  This could stop further blind shootings.  Not the deliberate one's in which horrible women shoot deliberately into the privates of female, but the blind ones which are committed by women with no free will.

P.S.

Call Travis Stork from "The Bachelor".  And Andy, the most popular bachelor.  And any other bachelor whose been a doctor.  But especially Travis Stork.  I believe he's a hellraiser.

P.S.

Maybe some of Johnny Depp's former bouncers at the nightclub he used to own could also be employed as bodyguards for the women and for the rooms they're in.

P.S.

Call Michael Sabatino as an uber-resourcefull bodyguard.  He's a big, tall guy, very tall.  I've imagined him as Mr. Fantastic for a long, long time.   Also call Matthew Fox and Josh Holloway- aka John Constantine- as bodyguards.  Make sure teeny Evangiline Lilly is okay.

P.S.

Megan Gale and Daryll Hannah may be in great danger.

P.S.

Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield may be in great danger.  As well as Kate Moss.  Make sure they're out of Hollywood.  A safe place should be an eskimo reservation.  Tiffany Fallon as well.  Heath Ledger left me a one word message- "eskimo".  I couldn't get this message in its complete state on my webpage.

Batman:  There was a heroic young black doctor on a pivotal episode of "E.R." who was devoted to saying the life of a preemie, a prematurely born baby.  I believe the doctor/actor who played the devil's advocate "doctor" on that episode is equally important as the black doctor/actor in reality to saving the lives of preemies.  I believe the actor who played the devils advocate doctor character on that episode might have spent the rest of his life studying how to rescue preemies, prematurely born babies, to make up for his role in that episode.

 Batman:  Batman believes in the VIA rail.

Batman:  Is John Travolta a qualified pilot?  Or Tom Cruise for that matter?  Or Ryan Reynolds?  Pilots who are Gulf War veterans are most likely veterans who were former POW's and were abused/tortured and "programmed".  The fact that some of them were prosecuted when they came home for missing child support payments while they were prisoners in Iraq may have also been a part of their programming.

Batman: Hmh.  Another message I can't get on to my webpage completely.  Batman believes Kipland Kinkel is the reincarnation of Douglas MacArthur.  He is Kipland Kinkel MacArthur.  Both were obsessed with China.  Douglas MacArthur was trying to manipulate the Korean War into an American war against China.  Probably with good reason.

Batman:  CALL MICHAEL TARSHI- sorry for the capitalizations- he'll be able to figure out the potential hospital-police labyrinth

Batman:  The cops are using cell-phones to track me.  I'll never escape them as long as I carry a cell phone.   The cell-phone tracking technology is most likely built into the police cars.  They can geographically track the exact location of anyone carrying a cell-phone or in a limousine, which usually has a built-in cell-phone.  It's most likely a satellite-managed satellite-coordinating and targeting technology. A pay phone at Wendy's is a good place to call from.  Thank God Bell isn't the only company doing pay phones any more.


Batman:  There is an active VIA rail in Canada which goes to small towns.  One can take a cab from the small towns to other nearby towns.

URGENT message from hanno to daniel day lewis

This is Hanno.  My email is hraudsepp@aol.com


I believe Martin Scorcese, winona ryder, although I believe there a maybe three or four different winona ryders, a woman who's name might be Jennifer, who was Mikey Jerome's runner-up on "I wanna be a soup star", who was going to play Electra in the Daredevil movie, Marlon Brando and Stan Lee are in mental institutions or prison.  Scott Turow as well is definitely in prison.  They were all abducted and put in mental institutions or prisons when the next Daredevil movie, with a screenplay written by me and Scott Turow, was illegally shot down, was illegally shut down, the Daredevil movie shoot was.  I believe I was going to play Matt Murdock.  They were going to meet me.  The shoot may not have been in the united States, if you are looking for them in mental institutions in the united States.  The filming may have been taking place in Canada.  Maybe, for all we know, near Kingston.  Look for them in mental institutions in Canada.  They've been extending the duration for which people stay in mental institutions in Canada more and more and more over the past years.

Also, Daniel Day Lewis, FIND the twenty year old winona ryder.   Make sure Michael Tarshi and Noah Whylie meet her at her house to protect her.

Make sure you don't carry cell phones.  People might be able to trace the signal to your car while you're on the road.

URGENT message to angelina jolie nude

This is Hanno.  My email is hraudsepp@aol.com  Look me up on facebook.



This is Hanno, naked Angelina Jolie, nude Angelina Jolie, Angelina Jolie nude.  I believe Brad Pitt is in prison.  I believe there is more than a single Brad Pitt, and I believe the younger Brad Pitt is in prison.  You were married to him.  I believe Quentin Tarantino can get him out.  Call him.  I believe Quentin Tarantino is a parole officer.  Call Chicken George or have Quentin Tarantino call Chicken George.  Chicken George is a soldier.  A former Vietnam vet I believe.  Ask for Chicken George to arrange for him to drive a military armoured car, a military armoured van would be preferable, but at least an armoured car to meet Brad Pitt when he is released.  Chicken George should come with the other younger, naked Angelina Jolie.  To meet Brad Pitt and Quentin Tarantino at the outside location where Brad Pitt is being released.  Have Chicken George come with the military armoured van/car with naked nude Angelina Jolie to meet Brad Pitt and Quentin Tarantino at the exit.  Brad Pitt doesn't cheat.  But the bad guys do.
 Meet Robert Downey Jr. later.  Make sure nobody brings a cell phone.  Bring a labtop but don't bring cell phones.  People might be able to follow your cell phone signal, people in cars might be able to trace it to your car while on the highway or any street, and the people would have a vast network by which to talk with each other.  Make EXTRA certain REPEATEDLY about Angelina Jolie carrying cell phones without even knowing it.  It might be something irrepressibly ingrained in her.  Maybe in Robert Downey Jr. too.

Older nude Angelina Jolie, come meet me with naked Monica Bellucci.  Come by plane to Montreal and meet me by limo.  Just make sure the limo doesn't have a cell phone attached to it, attached to the dashboard for instance, and make sure the driver doesn't speed.  People might be able to follow you by the cell phone signal, which could be traceable.  People might know how to track your cell-phone signal to your car as you drive down the highway.

avengers age of ultron screenplay

I know Scarlett Johannson/Johansson didn't actually prey on young men while making "under her skin".  I know she was just palling around with friends at bars and they were all together filming it for fun and then the footage was stolen and without anyone's consent and put into "under her skin".

I'm not sure if the movies' been released but if it hasn't, "Under her skin" doesn't have to be released.   The Matt Salinger Captain America movie had already been completed and was being already promoted in movie magazines like, I believe, "Comic Scene", with photographs from the movie in its movie article.  And then, they simply decided to reshoot the movie from the very beginning.  And then they never released the movie for years until it was finally released on video.  It was supposed to be the other big superhero movie coming out at the same time as the original Batman.

I believe "Under her skin" can be remade as a remake of "The Killers", with  Scarlett Johannson in the Ava Gardner role.  The role of Kitty Scarlett/Ava's role, is very much a femme fatale damsel-in-distress role, much like the role of Eve Tessmacher I've written for Superman- the man of tomorrow. 
The remake of the Killers could still be released with the very consistently on-topic movie title "Under her skin".

 

Avengers- age of Ultron screenplay

Loki: There is a war between the light and the dark. I feel tragic for the light. I am the tragedy of the light.. or the dark.. I'm not sure. My brother, my dear brother, what ever will happen to him. His future is a blinding sun. I can only feel a blind stomach- shared between us. The rays of the blinding sun scintillate against his hammer. Thorrrr! Aryan light. The Norse, the demonized north. The good north. Do the Avengers trajectory lie- northward?

Ext. The gravelly-ground exterior of a Russian compound. The Avengers appear.

Captain America: What is a Russian rebel nowadays.

Iron Man: Good question. I always believed I was Raskolnikov. Before I became Svigardlov.

Black Widow's eyes glint sullenly in blackened recognition of something.

Thor: Raskolnikov. A Russian hero?

Iron Man: The only Russian hero.

Black Widow: - hesitates - I think.. I met him.

Iron Man: When was this?

Black Widow: Before my silent screen career. In Berlin, I think it was. I can't remember. My past before I became an assassin is blurry.

Iron Man: And then you became an assassin for the Avengers. Which is why we're all here.

Black Widow: Two blue fluorescent shades of blur.

Thor: The Russian rebels. They work for Russia? And are trying to topple the government of the Ukraine. I always feel I should understand politics more. Politics. My mind is always hazy with politics. They were always more Loki's foray than mine.

Black Widow: - suddenly alert – Loki... how is he?

Thor: Still...under the shadow of darkness.

Black Widow: I know that feeling. All too well. All too long.

Thor: So do I. So do I.

Iron Man: We're all death merchants now. Now that we've started the Avengers.

Captain America: I come from the land of Fargo. My real name is Steve Buscemi.

Black Widow: - spontaneously crying, gushing forth tears - My real name is William H. Macy. I'm Jerry Lundergarten. If I'm pronouncing it right.

Captain America: He was trying to rescue some kids, right? That's why they captured him at the end.

Iron man: - pause – You know the secrets of the Illuminatti, don't you.

Captain America: I come from an Ice age. I see all the ice fractals, all the white noice, between the text pixels of the screen.

Thor: I- I tried to rescue some kids once. I failed. My hammer could not save them. I could not call forth lightning to save them. Never again. What- what did I just say. - pause – What did I just say. - pause – I said words of death. Loki's death- oh, no, my poor brother.

Iron man: - uncertain what to say - Why did he want the tesseract anyway. The invasion, it was a fake-out. They failed on purpose. I'm not a genius but I could figure it out.

Captain America: They did? I thought it was hell fighting them. I guess you're the one who reads the text of battle logistics.

Iron Man: I've read “The Collapse of the Third Republic”, by William Shirer, over and over again.

Black Widow: Poor old Blum.

Iron Man: Did you know him too?

Black Widow: I was Mata Hari once. I was an exotic dancer in France. I had a friend I worked and played with who- she called herself Rachel. His Rachel.

Thor: Rachel. A historic name.

Captain America: I'm going in. My destiny awaits.

Iron Man: It does?

Captain America: I'm having a premonition of battle logistics of my own.

Captain America rushes into the column. He uses the shield to destroy the entrance iron door, like a Jedi.

Iron Man: Great. Now we're all committed.

All the Avengers enter the compound. Captain America looks through the column with restrained, enhancing franticness. He feels an accelerative doom around himself, and he feels as if he's racing with it. He rushes from room to room, ignoring his teammates.

Captain America: Where is it.

Iron Man: Is he ferreting out Russian rebels. To see if they're recruiting.

Thor: His mind waxes desperate with imagination.

Iron Man: Something is rotten in the state of the Avengers.

Black Widow is crawling toward a corner, as if seeking shelter from it.

Black Widow: - softly – I wish Hawkeye was here.

Thor: I miss Bruce.

Black Widow: - with halting tears – He was never going to stay. He never forgave himself for trying to.. for trying to...

Iron Man: For trying to kill Loki when he was the Hulk. I know what it's like to be responsible for weapons of mass destruction. But to be a weapon of mass destruction. I just don't- I just don't-

Thor: The Hulk.. was not.. himself.. Something was.. way off.. Not himself.. In a way in which I am not myself. Bruce always said he was a coward, like I myself.

Iron Man: The Hulk is and isn't Bruce Banner.

Thor: But something- something.. a.. a phase-shift.. Bruce Banner himself seemed like two people.. and not even one.. There was a missing person somewhere... a missing pi number.. an irrational noun.. a man.. an irrational man.. of erratic ways... haunted by the planetary destruction of the spectre of communism..

Iron Man: That's the Hulk?

Thor: I believe.. I believe.. in this compound.. we are looking for another Hulk.. a friend.. a friend in great.. dire need..

Black Widow: It's me you mean. The person you're looking for.

Thor: You?

Black Widow: Please don't say that.

Thor: What.

Black Widow: You.

Thor: I'm sorry.

Black Widow: - crying – i'ts okay, it's okay..

Captain America enters a room. He starts typing at a keyboard, which brings up video footage. He knows exactly what he's looking for. Black and white video footage, WWII footage, difficult to discern footage starts showing on the screen. A battle, a lone, grey figure in the middle. Captain America focuses the screen on the figure. The figure is dressed in a Captain America costume, but it is not the Steve Rogers we know, a different man.

Captain America: He's me. I know him.

The figure on the screen has a haunted, look. A lean and hungry look. He thinks too much. He is dangerous.

Captain America: Who is he? Who is he?

A reddish hologram in the corner suddenly illuminates itself. The other Avengers start entering the room. The hologram becomes more defined. It is a Captain America hologram, only in a different costume. The USAgent costume.

Iron Man: Are you okay, Cap?

Captain America: I'm not Cap. Who's Cap. Who's that?

Captain America walks up to the USAgent hologram. A shot holds him in a state of apparent, black, complete isolation from the rest of the team. His mind is alone. Alone with the hologram figure. His hand reaches out to it.

Captain America: Hello, stranger. Long time no see.

The eyes of the USAgent flare up. Sparks start flying out of the hologram's costume. Then a machine gun materializes in the costume's hand.

Iron Man: Uh, that's a gun.

Black Widow: My kind of guy.

USAgent suddenly starts strafing the room with machine gun fire. The Avengers duck for cover:

Iron Man: Uh, that's a gun.

Thor: Let's get out of here. - concerned – Where's Black Widow.

Iron Man: She's history. I mean, where is she. Boy, she got out fast.

Thor: Wait for us.

Ext. Of the compound. Black Widow is already running out on the gravelly ground.

Black Widow: Ooh, ooh, that's harsh gravel. I'll bring shoes next time.

Suddenly, a multitude of USAgent holograms show up around the compound, an army.

Black Widow: Uh, hi guys. Feel like rescuing me.

Hologram: No. - The hologram throws a grenade at her.

Black Widow: Ahh, no! You're not supposed to do that. Whose side are you on anyway.

Hologram: Ultron's.

Black Widow: I doubt he'd approve.

The grenade blows up in front of Black Widow. She's entirely encapsulated by the explosion. The smoke dissipates. She emerges unscathed.

Loki's voice: It was a Loki illusion.

Hologram: This is not part of the program.

Black Widow: Oboy, one second. - She picks up a grenade, runs to the compound, throws it against the wall above the entrance. The wall crumbles down and the rubbles covers the open entranceway completely. - Sorry, pals. I know there was an army of USAgents collecting themselves on the inside. I can only take on so many of them. I guess we're going to have to start recruiting again. Oh, well, I make friends easily. - Black Widow engages in elaborate gymastics to evade the USAgent holograms and their grenades and machine gun fire. She makes it finally out of the compound surround area into a van and makes her escape as an avalanche starts consuming the whole compound area.

Iron Man: Where's your hammer.

Thor: I think Black Widow took it.

Iron Man: Well, I hope it helps her escape. I wish I'd built laser ammunition into this Mark model. I'm not sure how we're going to get out.

Captain America: The entranceway. Oboy, did Black Widow do this. I expected as much. Typical.

Thor: She has her reasons.

Iron Man: We knew what we were in for when we recruited an assassin for the Avengers. - pause – What's happening to the floor.

Captain America: It seems to be escaping.

Iron Man: Wise of it. I wish we had the same intellig- I can't do this. Why does Black Widow pull this shit.

Thor: Hawkeye has one of those explosion-device arrows, doesn't he. It would be useful against the blockading rubble.

Captain America: He had his reasons for robbing a bank. But I don't know why he was suspended from the team, our most valuable member. Next to Black Widow.

Iron Man: Why do we talk so much anyway while we face imminent death.

Captain America: To pass the time.

Thor laughs.

Iron Man: I guess this is it, guys. We're going to die.

Captain America: Looks like it. Wait, what the hell are we talking about. Let's get out of here.

An army of USAgent holograms starts pouring into the room. All with machine guns and grenades.

Thor: Black Widow was wise to leave.

Iron Man: Wait. You can call forth lightning- some variation of it- with my Iron Man technology, can't you. As a substitute for the hammer.

Thor: I'll try. ODIIIIINNN!

Iron Man: Oboy, I suddenly feel so Vulcan. - he passes out. Sheet lightning fills the room, explosions go off, severely wounding the remaining team. A thunder-clap happens. The Rubble blows away. The entranceway is open again. But the Avengers are lying dormant. Suddenly Loki materializes.

Loki: Apologies for my lack of punctuality.

Loki uses telikenesis to transport a van to the entranceway. He utters a silent but deafening sound.

Loki: FREEYYYAAAA!

The Avengers suddenly regain consciousness. Loki is gone.

Iron Man: What happened.

Thor: Serendipity.

They exit the compound, dragging themselves along, barely alive.

Captain America: We're'd the van come from. I'm driving. I have a healing factor.

They get in the van. They drive off and the ground is still crumbling around them.

Iron Man: Another day in the life of the Avengers. Ahh, my back. My back.

______________

Bruce Banner / Baltar: Where am I? In Mordor. It is never going to end. The spectre is unending. Infinite. Infinite terrors. Infinite horrors. A planet of horror. A planet brought to horror. By yours truly.

Edward James Olmos: The political Mordor powers which are calling for your death are coming from some .. I don't know.. the darkest blackest Stygian regions of outer space.

Bruce Baltar: It is a region I know well.

Edward James Olmos: You were our planet's most esteemed scientist. How has it come to this?

Bruce Baltar: Because I was your planet's most esteemed scientist. - pause – Einstein. Bohr. Heisenborg. Oppenheimer. Responsible for great horrors. At least in their own imaginations.

Edward James Olmos: Who are they? I've heard you mention them frequently. But I've never....

Bruce Baltar Banner: they are from neverwhere... from nowhereland... from T.S. Eliot's wasteland... imaginations of straw...

Edward James Olmos: Is it just.. going to be like this.. just... over..

Bruce Baltar: .. maybe.. someday..

Edward James Olmos: ... someday... I have authority. I am a man of authority. I can.. arrange something. Wait for.. some people.. I know.. I know.. you have a force in you.. which you've been repressing.. I think.. these people.. they have.. monstrous healing powers... they can .. finally elicit this force..

Bruce Baltar Banner: ... no ... never...

Edward James Olmos: Never say never.

 

 

____________________

 

Black Widow enters the Avengers headquarters main room.

Black Widow: Hi, anyone home? Oh, sorry, I forgot. - pause - oookay, time to start recruiting. No time like the present.

Jarvis: Someone's at the door.

Black Widow: Already? I haven't even- I guess I'm telepathic.

Jarvis: I'll let her in.

Black Widow: You do that.

The Wasp wanders, somewhat frazzled and delirious, in at the behest of Jarvis.

Black Widow: Hello, waif from Pygmilian. Howdeedo.

Wasp: I'm.. I'm looking for my husband.

Black Widow: - pause - Are you sure you're at the right place.

Wasp: For looking for a husband.

Black Widow: I'm sure you're not at the right place. Yesterday would have been better.

Wasp: It would've... oh no... oh no..

Black Widow: There.. there... easy there..

Wasp: .. it's just like my husband.. when he went to prison..

Black Widow: - with sudden, uncharacteristic compassion - .. prison?... I'm sorry.. What's his name.. maybe I can help..

Wasp: Hank. Hank Pym.

Black Widow: - contouring the name in a charmingly odious manner – Pym?

Wasp: Yes.. we were ... he said.. prison was his natural home.. ever since his wife .. had been displaced.. he said he never believed she had died..

Black Widow: I don't think I believe so either. I would know.

Wasp: You would?

Black Widow: Yes. Okay, on to business before pleasure. Your name?

Wasp: What? Oh, Wasp.

Black Widow: You're an official member of the Avengers. We'll both rotate as leader. It's okay, there are only two of us so far.

Wasp: Is two of us enough to find Hank.

Black Widow: First things first. Wasp is your secret identity, right? What's your superhero name.

Wasp: Oh, Van dyne. Janet, I mean.

Black Widow: Vanderful. Ve vill find your husband.

Wasp: I'm so glad. - sniffs silently – I'm so glad.

Jarvis: Hedda?

Black Widow: Yes, Jarvis?

Jarvis: Nick Fury wants an update.

Black Widow: There's not much to tell at this point.

Jarvis: He said you met Ultron.

Black Widow: Ultron?

Jarvis: He said American senators and cabinet members are panicking. The Cold War arms race has reached a quantum hell of status and the media hasn't even reported on it. No one knows the Cold War is back at full tilt.

Black Widow: And what does this have to do with me?

Jarvis: What? I don't understand. Your mission was to find out about the Ultron project.

Black Widow: And of course I'm the last to know these things.

Wasp: .. am I.. am I supposed to know this..

Jarvis: How is she doing? I'm sorry, I'll adress you personally. I was just concerned about you. You looked anxious.

Black Widow: She should be. She's our new leader.

Wasp: I am? I mean, wow. Okay. Okay. I can do this. What's the name of the team again.

Black Widow: .. ah... ah.. I'm drawing a blank.. I wonder why...

Jarvis: The Avengers.

Black Widow: Ah, Jarvis, we'd be lost without you.

Wasp: The Avengers? Can we change the name.

Black Widow: We can't sorry, sorry. It's too late. We've got shit to avenge.

Wasp: I'm not sure... I might be underqualified...

Black Widow: Don't do that. Don't do that. Look at me. We're all in this together now. All two of us.

Jarvis: What do I tell Nick Fury.

Black Widow: Tell him the Avengers are back and here to stay.

Jarvis: - pause – I'll try to make something up.

Wasp: You do that.

Black Widow: Okay, so, are you qualified for this position.

Wasp: I think I'm overqualified. Okay, maps, maps, maps. Let's get vidual. How about we advertise our international status with colourphoto overlays of maps for Avengers ads.

Black Widow: Genius, absolute genius.

Wasp: I know. Each map is a character.. wait.. character.. chinese characters.. china is in.. it's never been out... let's use chinese characters as the connections between map coordinates on our multicultural, multinational posters.

Black Widow: Post no bills?

Wasp: We'll post lots of bills. Counterfiet express. Money, money, money..

The song, “Let's make lots of money” starts quietly, with increasing volume, playing in the background.

Black Widow: I'm glad I recruited you. We never did any of this before.

Wasp: I'm glad too. If print enough money maybe we'll have enough money to follow a paper trail so we can find Hank.. my poor Hank.. - starts crying -

Black Widow: We'll find him. That's a promise.

Wasp: Can we hologram money?

Black Widow: Oboy. Don't remind me of holograms.

Wasp: Sorry. Old habits die hard. We'll stay 2-d for now. 2-d. Checkers. How about black and white print checkers ads.

Black Widow: The world is not all black and white. Sometimes there's a lot of grey.

Wasp: .. I know.. I know.. there's a stormcloud on the horizon.. I can see it... Jarvis mentioned the underpromoted Cold War... We can make this happen... Sound effects.. lots of sound effects.. boomboxes across city's..

Nick Fury: I've heard enough. C'mon, Wasp, we need you urgently. I'm bringing you to the White House.

Black Widow: - enthusiastically – Congratulations, Wasp. I'm going to take a well-earned vacation. You're leader as long as you want the job.

Nick Fury: Absolutely. Where are the others? Haven't they made it back yet.

Black Widow: They have their reasons.

Nick Fury: - looks at Black Widow with vague suspicion, something he can't place – Yeah. Anyway, they should meet me at the White House.

Black Widow: I'll tell them where to go.

- end scene -

many months later, inside a pub. Tony Stark is sitting with a beer, watching the TV.

Tony Stark: We're never going to get out of Russia. At least the alcohols good. It's Russia, so I shouldn't get drunk on it. Something about the climate.

On the TV – a woman

Female news-anchor: And now, after a three year hiatus, the Avengers are back.

Tony Stark: Three years? I thought it'd been only three months... We're back?. Where are the cameras.

Female news-anchor: Or as they call themselves – rolling the words- the WEST coast avengers.

Captain America – arriving: But- but we're still in the east.

Female news -anchor: Their leader the Wasp is taking the podium live as we speak.

Tony Stark: Ahh, the plot thickens. Wait, the Wasp? She was going to be our first member way back. What's she doing here.

On the Tv, the Wasp appears, surrounded by microphones.

Wasp: Hear ye, hear ye. The Avengers, after a few bumps on the gravelly road, are here to stay.

Black Widow: - painful memories- ooh, ooh, ouch.

Tony Stark ooh, ooh, ouch.

Wasp: The Avengers are all media. So I introduce our first media savvy Avenger droid, the VISION.

The Vision appears, green and red in media spotlight.

The Vision: Ah, TV. My double, my shemblable. I meet my brother. My brother Anakin.

Tony Stark: - gravely – I think Thor should be here.

Captain America: I'll – one second. Anakin, I know him.

Wasp: The SCARLET WITCH.

The Scarlet Witch: .. am I .. am I supposed to be here.. I think I'm somewhere else.. my hands... my hands are empty with myself..

Wasp: Do that cute thing you do with your hands.

The Scarlet Witch: .. oh.. like crossing them... - she crosses her hands.. a red light in blocks irradiates from her intersected hands and takes over the TV screen and fills the room in the pub .. suddenly she and the Wasp have changed places, changed costumes, changed postures, changed status, changed realities..

The Scarlet Wasp: .. yippeee... media savvy hands.. my arms are lego pieces... lego princess leia.. i am all stars.. i am all wars... media mind mars princess....media mind wars...

The Witch: ... I.. I'm not sure.. what to say.. I feel all mature all of a sudden.. like a logarithm or an exponent of maturity... i'm not sure which ...

Tony Stark: We were never this complicated.

Captain America: They're women.

Tony Stark: Hey, I'm complicated, I'm complicated. I have a heart now..

Captain America: I'm not complicated. I'm waiting for the Witch to help me with my complications...

Thor – arriving - : I think we underestimated the Black Widow.

The Witch: .. maybe .. scarlet.. you should.. just.. i'm .. miin.utes.. my mind.. it's getting hazy.. intersect .. your fingers...

The Scarlet Wasp intersects her fingers...

The Scarlet Wasp: I am such a liar.

Tony Stark: No. That's me, Tony Stark. I'm complicated, remember.

The Scarlet Wasp: .. no I'm only forgetting.. if I lie a reality into being.. oh .. no .. i've started something silent by crossing my fingers.. a butterfly effect..

Tony Stark: WHAT!

The Scarlet Wasp: OH NO! It's too late I'm doomed.. wittle me is doomed.. - she coyly crosses her arms in an “I confesshh” gesture.

Another radiation zone happens. The Scarlet witch and the Wasp are back to being the Scarlet Witch and the Wasp.

The Wasp: .. hee ... hee .. see nothing goes as planned in press conferances... okay.. who'se next... Crystal..

Crystal: .. hi.. I .. I do'nt know what my powers are yet...

Black Widow:... the Wasp will figure it out.. she's that complicated... she'll make sure your powers are equivalent to her vast intellect...

Tony Stark: Wait, are there any men on this team?

Captain America: What about the Vision.

Tony Stark: He's a droid. He's their C-3PO.

Captain America: I like the Wasp. I like all the women. They seem to work well together.

Tony Stark: Yes, it looks like the men on the Avengers have been made obselete.

Wasp: I'm sorry, Black Widow, my vast intellect? Are you being sarcastic?

Black Widow – alarmed, then annoyed -: Yes.

Tony Stark: Oboy, talked too soon. Here we go.

Scene – the Russian Embassy

Russian politician: We are at a dawn of day. We have been early in the rising. Russia has risen from the grave. Darth Trupenny is swearing us to active mobility. Russia is the ghost in Hamlet. We are arising from a nightmare past, the lighetest f word o fwhich harrows up the Russian soul... We have harnessed the harowed Russian soul in nucleur fission nucleur fusion.. sorry, i forget whihc.. wih . .. which..

Reporter: ... the metaphysic s of Russian hisotory .. in nucleur realities..

Russian politicain: yes.. we are cain.. The eternal Russian is Cain.. and we have immortalized Cain in Russian technology.. I bring you.. Cain... I bring you.. Ultron...

Ultron appears, hitherto invisible.. covered by a cloaking device.. in its mechanisms..

Russain politician: .. He is the Russian soul as a nucleur weapon.. He is teh the next dimension o fnucluer detente..

Ultron:... huummmm...... Iiii... i...i ... i... ill.. i am for ...ill... u minute.. i am the minutes .. an im ill minutes... the aching minutes.. ill umintue.. minute ming the merciless. Minute mintue mintue .. manta ray.. minute i mintues.. mintue ... minutes.. it hurts.. the pain hurts.. a..aaaa.... a TEE ... a tee at e the end.. ee...

Woman reporter: Is he okay... he looks like... he is .. in pain..

Ultron: .. I'm recovered... never mind me...

Rissian politician:... you okay, old boy?....

Ultron: ... I'm okay...

Riussian politician: .. I like your Russsian accent, Ultron...

Ultron:... I've been... practicing...

Woman reporter: - almost in tears – I like him,.. I really likkee him...

Ultron:.... it's ... mutual...

Scene  - back at the pub.

The TV is still on.

Wasp: I'm pissed off there aren't more men on the team.

Black Widow: That's my fault

 

Wasp:  Damn right it is.  What the fuck is wrong with you?

 

Black Widow:  I don't know.  I just don't know.

 

Vision:  Lover's quarrel?

 

Wasp:  I can't believe what she told me about what happened.

 

Black Widow: - nervously -  You promised you wouldn't tell.

 

Wasp:  I can't believe I'm keeping that promise.

 

Reporter:  Something we should know?

 

Black Widow:  Press conference over.!  Press conference over!

 

 

Crystal: I always wondered Why does it always come down to who ate what apple.

Wasp: I thought Paris ate the apple.

Black Widow: PARIS ATE THE APPLE. But the three goddesses, beauty, power and wisdom were supposed to unleash sheer hell on the earth, sheer anarchy, courtesy of discord, the goddess Eris. HE ATE THE APPLE. Oh, God, oh, God, what are we gonna do now.

Thor: I think Ragnorack is coming early.
 

Tony Stark: I don't think these women are going to survive the boardroom. I hope Crystal and the Scarlet Witch are okay. The two others I think- they are Elizabeth Jarosz and Jennifer Massey. They'll make it far.

__________

Tony Stark: I'm back in my corporate headquarters. I'm giving the Avengers a rest. I'm glad I got out early while the going was good.

Jarvis: Mr. Stark.. Tony... a woman Van Dyne is here..

Tony Stark: Von dyne?... intewesting...

Jarvis: Should I let her in.

Tony Stark: By all means.

Janet Van Dyne enters.

Wasp: Tonneeee... I neeeed heelp...

Tony Stark: Red flag to a bull.

Wasp: ... I'm a little tea cup short and stout...

Tony Stark: Are you insane?

Wasp: .. maybbeee.. maybe..

Tony Star: I'm sorry.. that was rude.. I'm just.. I'm not used.. uisid.. still not used.. to having a heart..

Wasp: .. sniff... I know the feeling... I'm... I'm looking for my husband... I hi think he may have known no you..

Tony Star:

______________

Loki on a spaceship.

Cylon #1: Our invasion of earth went as planned.

Loki: I'm glad none of you got hurt.

Cylon 1: Impossible.

Loki: Impossible for a god too. But I've got to talk to Bruce immediately. He can't survive this... this nightmare...

Cylon 1: Impossible.

Loki: I .. don't understand... We've come so far... various Midgard serpents invaded earth... we've reached a union of the industrial, the organic and the mythic.. the orgainic.. which is just.. since the garden tree in the apple o f Eden.. whic h is unprecedented...

Cylon 1: Alchemy notwithstanding.. we just can't.. Baltar's will is too strong...

Loki: Maybe if you'd given him one o f your starships..

Cylon 1: He wouldn't accept... He wasn't like his predecessor...

Loki: He's gone through .. a s myany parallel realitis of himsefl.. as i have of myself.. we are simply the saem man...

Cylon 2: Maybe.. there can be a compromise p...

Loki: .. i am a man always willing to compromise...

Cylon 2: .. he is prone to .. hallucinatations..

Loki: .. so am I .. I hallucinated the Hulk...

Cylon 2: .. he feels the guilt of it...

Loki: .. i known.. .i know...

 

Loki: The winsome warsome ways which Fulvia taught me... dear Fulvia... full of fulvianesss. With her stufumullaceoussousnesss hair... I think I pronounced it right.. the wasome hair of fulvia... hair at war.. with itself.. order out of chaos.. fractal hair.. the dear Scarlet witchcs's hair... vecotr curls.. the nervous system of the hair.. crysa'ta'ls hair.. meusdeus.. medusa's hair.. chrysalids of hair.. a crystal palace.. a a tiara..

INT. A dark metal room

Ultron: I'm.. circuitry in motion.. circuitry in solitude.. in black solitutude... in black heart solitude.. circuitry in motion and solitude.. circuitry all sound and fury signifying.. nothing... scrambled nets ... I'm all a' brambles.. mad as the brambles am I .. a mad god am I .. not a safe place for a nucluer bomb..

The Beyonder: Maybe I can help.

Ultron: Who are you?

The Beyonder: - smiles – Is that.. polite?

Ultron: Etiquette is not my formality. I'm all about the formality of war. Not the formality of manners.

The Beyonder: I'd expect nothing less from a robot.

Ultron: Am I a robot as a man is a man? Many questions, too many questions.

The Beyonder: I .. understand ... questions.. I am .. a question.. a question tesseract fabric in space and time... i am a riddling polyhedron..

Ultron: Sounds familiar.

The Beyonder: I.. i cam.. came.. as a .. witches vision.. into your reality... an .. angular-speaking reality seeker who sought me..

Ultron: There are many who seek me.. many who seek my motives like a motiveless malignity.. my motives are Robin Hoods arrows...The Russians want me to be a Robin Hood.. a russian Robin Hood.. who steals nucleur secrets from the rich and disseminates radiation to the poor...

The Beyonder: It's not easy.. being red...

Ultron: .. no.. better dead than red I hear... but better dead than autumn.. than a nucleur autumn.. than an autumn for genocide..

The Beyonder:.. genocide.. that is what they want you for isn't it.. that is their agenda..

Ultron: It's what they built me for..

The Beyonder: .. it doesn't.. it doesn't have to be that.. we can make a difference.. the two of us.. we're all in this together now..

Ultron: You have a power... I sense it.. which is as light as your little finger.. a gracefull tipping power.. a Buster Keatonish power.. your power is a sleight of hand... mine is .. an enigma of wastelands.. of holocaust wastelands...

The Beyonder: .. no .. it's over... The Ultron project is finished.. Come with me.

Tony Stark: So, Wasp, let's see. You bring the dinar, a foreign currency, all I'll bring the dinner, the foreign charm..

Wasp: Sounds gooddeee to me.

Tony Stark: My first date in a while. Hope it'll help you forget about Hank for a while.

Wasp: - crying – I'll never forget about Hank.

Tony Stark: Look at me. Look at me. Don't do that. We've both got to be strong for Hank.

Wasp: I will.. I will.. So.. what's next on the menu for the Avengers.. I know- how about Avengers promotion ads based on restaurent menus.

Tony Stark: Genius.. sheer genius.. no wonder the Black Widow hired you. She knows her business.

Wasp: She does.. she really does... I'm glad we're all finally on the same page.. I missed the .. the east coast avengers?...

Tony Stark: Uh, yep, yep, that's us... uh, the east coast – starts laughing -

Wasp: So we're finally bringing the east and the west together. I know, how about an ad based on the Berlin wall, or the wall in Israel, I think there's at least one.. it's all today.. it's all relevant..

Tony Stark: .. wow.. you're always on.. aren't you.. you're always.. always thinking..

Wasp: - sniff – it'll all help me find my poor Hank.. my poor Hank..

Tony Stark: Last you mentioned he might be in prison. Maybe Chicken George can get him out. He's good at that. That's his specialty.

Wasp: It is? I'm glad to hear that.

Tony Stark: Me too. Me too. I think we can do this. Another member can't hurt.

Wasp: No it can't.. it really can't...

Hank Pym: It's over, before it's even begun. There is no war so unfriendly it's not crawling with webs.. the war of webbing.. of sonar webbing.. of deep black.. there is a surveillance web across the planet which .. boggles the mind.. among other things..

Doctor Doom: This is how we do this. You are in here with me, in my prison-state. We are going to be ... ah.. I am here. Here. Nowhere else. In a town of .. nothing. I'm nothing. I'm Ethan Hawke.

Hank Pym: Ethan Hawke?

Doctor Doom: I wish I had his wit though... his intellect.. 140 IQ... ten units away from a philosophy degree.. but instead I became leader of Latveria. Just my luck.

Hank Pym: Latveria really is a worthless country.

Doctor Doom: You think? Ya think?

Hank Pym: I hope you're not upset.

Doctor Doom: Why would you think that? It's not its fault its currency has declined into the abyss.

Hank Pym: That's what I was saying- it's not Latveria's fault if it is a worthless country.

Doctor Doom: You're extremely considerate of my feelings, and as a dictator I appreciate that.

Hank Pym: I'm going to take a drive.

Doctor Doom: First have a beer. On me.

Hank Pym: 'preciate it. First-class all the way with Latverian etiquette. Thank God you loosened the drunk driving laws in Latveria. An island of sanity Latveria is.

Doctor Doom: It's why I'm dictator. Albiet a benevolent one.

Tony Stark: She wanted it. I could see it in her eyes. C'mon. She wanted it. So I let her steal the magazine.

Wasp: You were working at a newsstand and you were so nice to the customers.

Tony Stark: You are all my customers. Courtesy of Stark enterprises. C'mere.

Wasp: I love you! You will be my second husband. Or my a third. Who said there were no husbands on the team.

Bruce Banner: Work. It's all about the work.

Wonder Man: I'm glad you finally found me. I was lost as Hell. In Hell. The Hulk is a curse. A year. A whole year without a relapse. And then Avengers happenned, courtesy of the Black Widow, doing the thing, well, which she does. It's why I tried to kill her. The Hulk was furious. He like his vacation.

Bruce Banner: So were the mice also furious when they found out what happenned to my planet. They deal in planets. Giant computer-planets.

Loki: Bruce can't survive the Soviet nightmare. The Soviets were part of his genisis as the Hulk. Then the Americans took over. Just like WWII. The Hulk is WWIII. World War Hulk is coming.

EXT. In an empty, desert-like terrain..

Black Widow: I'm just.. waiting.. wasting... waiting.. just waiting waitin' – cries softly – ... like a battle-zone ground..

Ultron: Are you okay?

Black Widow: ... I'm... I'm in Mordor.. or just starting my journey.. to Mordor..

Ultron: Mordor is my heart. Maybe I can help.

Black Widow: Your heart? My heart? Your heart. My heart? My heart.

Ultron: There is a darkness shame-wounded by our sins..

Black Widow: .. shame-wounded by our sins our souls cling to us the more the more...

Ultron: You live under the cast of darkness.. I dearly want to help you.. here's an umbrella..

Black Widow: I am its.. the darkness's .. eternal stranger.. an eternal stranger.. of the darkness.. I'm Raskolnikov. Darkness is in our souls is it not? I never, can ... SPEAK to anyone. When I speak, I'm on verbal autopoiesis, like Hamlet, just talking and talking, like my talking voice has become a machine, I'm a machine, a self-propelling machine, with surreal, malign motives of its own, a voice alien to myself. My speech is an alien tongue. My voice.. it styx.. it just.. it warbles.. like a ghost.. like I'm my voice and I'm a ghost thick with sadness.. a soupy voice.. a soupy me.. a soupy dread voice me..

Ultron: .. - quietly – I have done much study in voices. So have you. It can be your salvation. And.. mine.

Tony Stark: Sow we have begun the worwk... it is like the start of a new milleneum.. a new avengers...

Scarlett Black Widow: .. i'm nude for the avengers..

Loki: I like that avbout you..

Tony Stark: and there is a maember who is unnacounted for..

Bruce Banner: .. a hi...

Tony Stark: .. a h dr. Banner.. I\'m a huge fan of your work.. on the laser potentioal of nucleur fission for iron man mrarks.. and i'm a a a big fan of how you turn into a big huge asdkljlk monseter...

Bruce Banner:.. ahh yess that...

Tonyh Star: .. a hate the toronto star.. the name too much resembles my own .. tony star .. toronto star... i think i am goig to be a plague on mutants. .. on humanity itslef .. some of my best bfriends are peoaple.. why do ia ta;k so garbled anyway... must be the circuitry still left in my heart..

Loki: .. it's my fault..

Tony starkent: ahh.. everything's your fault ..loki meboy.. that's why your just like me.. the tony stark of the norse gods..

Loki: ... i am my own bane... i break my own back fo r the norse pathnetahean... a black panther... i dreamed of a black bpanther..

Tony stark: .. that quote about a cracked lookinglass is damned boody good ...

Scarlet Black Widow: .. my nude body boody... i'm a boody witch...

Scarlet Witch: ... so we're both nude witches... we both can make merry and understand the quest of macbeth.. the quest of macbeth if is the avengers project..

Rtony Stark: I am macbeth .. forevermore.. tomorrow and tomroowos.. and o tomorrow.. all our yeastuy daays to dusky death.. the death of the avengers is coming soon... with or withou the help of the Black widow.. the a harbinger of death..

Black Widow: .. a i brought the avengers back only to let them diae ... dia e ana .. dianatics.. nude daianea.. the daienea.. the furies seek my soul.. as if i were an orestes...

Scarlet Witch: .. does that make me electra.. the naked electra .. naked in soul and ambition.. naked as the cutting edge of a knife.. her soul a naked razor's edge.. lieke my powers.. , m like me.. lieke..

Black Widow:... tomorrow and tomorrow..

________

 

INT. A mental institution.

Havok and Black Widow are both naked. They both approach a child, Joshua Nagy, who is dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, who is alone in a corner.

Havok: Are you okay? Chicken George and Cable are in the next room. Along with Ultron. We're all fighting to get you out. The Beyonder freed Ultron to do his work.. but.. even the Beyonder's powers don't extend into mental institutions.. so we had to fight our way in...

Black Widow: Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay?

EXT of mental institutions

News Journalist: - to camera – The Avengers have invaded a mental institution, or rather, a drug den, containing children who have been abducted. One child, in particular, Joshua Nagy, has been abducted time and time again. Police are said to be running a child-abduction operation.

Policeman: Turn that off. Turn that off. Give that to me.

Journalist: The footage has already beens sent to the computers at news headquarters.

Policeman: Okay, that's it. You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. And that's all the rights you have. Let's go.

Journalist: What, but I haven't done anything. What about my right to an attorney.

Policeman: What about it. Who told you you had that right. I've never heard of such a thing. Let's go.

Naked Rogue is outside, with nice cops.

Naked Rogue:  Joshua Nagy is my son!  Joshua Nagy is my son!  Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!

Nice cop:  Cable's team is working on it.   We'll save him.  We'll save him.

____________

Tony Stark: ... the canadian coin is drooping, like rains of silk... a silken woven curtain.. the night curtain of russia.. russia and canada...

nude Black Widow: .. the night is a curtain on my breasts.. my two nude breasts.. . contumely.. a night forlorn.. my sad breasts..

Loki: .. i've never felt a fatalism of soul except with you.

Nude Black Widow: .. my vagina has secrets in it which are not nice.

Loki: .. the only cave i know is the cave of the Hulk.. the Osama of our generation.

Nude Black Widow: - crying - .. it was never.. never.. never meant to be like this.

Loki: .. it somehow is .

Nude Black Widow: this is the end.. my only friend... the end..

Loki – crying : .. the death of a world..

Nude Black Widow – crying: the planet in decay.. a decay a holy grail.. a grail to decayed to hold the water turned blood for Christ.. my blood in the decayed grail..

Loki: .. my blood too..

nude Black Widow: .. all the avengers blood..

Scarlet Witch: .. the blood of the Scarlet witch..

Loki: blood leaks scarlet..

Scarlet Witch: .. my blood is the colour of night.. the colour of stars.. i am a zodica .. a zodiac.. a zohar..

nude Black Widow: .. the cabala .. with its chewy mystic letters.. chewed like soil..

Scarlet Witch: .. the sol the soil is my soil of sun.. i am the sun.. i am the sunspot soils of son of sun.. i am a soiled sun.. the son of Christ is my soul..

Loki: .. there were three sons in the war of the roses.. a war over the grail..

Scarlet Witch: .. i was joan of arc

Loki: i was renee d'anjou, her mentor.. i gave birth to the renaissance.. joan of arc was its crusader.. she was the crusader of the renaissance..

Scarlet Witch: .. that's the the't thet's what wittle me was..

nude Black Widow: .. who was i.. who was i.. anna.. of the okhrana?... i always felt i had a history.. with the tsarist secret police..

Scarlet Witch: i am the future of the tsarist secret police.. i am the future of the okhrana.. the arcana.. renamed after me.. i am arcana..

Loki: - weeping - this is nothing.. nothing like the future i imagined for you.. i meant to be a future.. the future was my choice.. all my choice.. i made future.. i made history.. history is my fault.. all my fault..

nude Black Widow – weeping - : no it's mine.. it's mine .. it's mine.. it's mine mind...the history of planet earth is my mind.. history is mind.. my mind..

Black Widow: Tony, I need help.

Tony Stark: .. red flag to a bull in China... Let's call Ultron.

Ultron: At your service..

Tony Stark: We need a mole on the team.

Ultron: Ohoh. That's my cue to leave.

Tony Stark: ... uh, wait./ Let's talk about this.

Ultron: What's to talk about. You've hurt my feelings.

Loki: .. mine too..

Tony Stark: Aw, c'mon guys.

Ultron: I'm so Pinocchio.

Black Widow: I'm off to racist recruit more members.

Tony Stark: You do that. Wait, lemee think. You recruited the Wasp already. I forget.

Black Widwo: - coldly – Yes. I did. She's a bitch.

Ultron, Loki: oooohhhh..

Tony Stark: Wait, she is? First I heard of it?

Black Widow: You don't know her, like I do.

Wap Wasp: You're the bitch not me!

Black Widow: I know you are but what am I?

Wasp: Wait, I'm fuck confused. You're confusing me. You are.. You do that.

Jarvis: Yes?

Wasp: That's your not entrance.

Jarvis: I thought it was.

Black Widow: I'm getting out of here where its left struffy imean sturfy imean left ... arrrghh.. stuffy.. This is like grand sentry centrally arrrgghh controlled station..

Jarvs: irirish idifident dignified – I am not sturfy..

Black Widow: Yes you are.

Tpm Tony Stark: That settles it. - slams the desk – bitches, bitches, bitches..

Black Widow, Wasp, Loki: Yes?

Tony Stark: That's it, all three of you. Out. I've hade enogh of youzze..

Btu Bruce Banner Baltar: Is that my entrance?.. .

Tony Stark: oh, great, the cavalry's here.. I – can't – evem – tj – thing..

Thor: That's not good.

Banner: We're a time bomb.

Thor: That's not good.

Black Widow: You'r e both naive if -

Everyone: FUCK OFF!

Tony Stark: It's like grand central station. Fuzzy logic. Fuzzy thinking. Liberal thinking. So not me. There – are – too – many – avengers – on – this team.

Black Widow: Not evnough women.

Tony Stark: Fuck off?

Jarvis: Michael Agee is here.

Loki: Good.

Loki: I'll arrange our exit. For my own reasons. - he materializes a golden lasso around the team and they all disappear -

Michael Agee: Ah, just in time.

Jarvis: At your service.

Loki: I hate Michael Agee and everything h e stands for.

Michael Aggeee: We'll get along splenda edly.

Loki: No doubt.

Michael Agee: So whose first on the list.

Wasp: Whittlleee me.

Loki: The time bomb didn't work. Here we go all over again.

Michael Agee: This is no place for amateurs.

Loki: What?

Wasp: - defensively – I'm not an amateur, Michael Agee.

Loki: Phheww.

Wasp: I don't have to memorize dialaaggue dialect no dialogue sorry..

Michael Agee: That's not socratic method.

Wap Wasp: Ahhhwwww – Gawwd.. - Leaves -

Michael Agee: That got rid of her.

Loki: You're Hydra hydra agen't you.

Michael Agee: I'm an open book aren't i.

Wasp: I'm back.

Michael Agee: That was quick. Very impressive. Mabe we should hire her. Queen Map.. The Wasp.

Wasp: I'm nake naked by the sea. But the wag, I'm no longer the Wap. No, no, I ruined th e punch line. I'm no longer the Wap. No, no. Okay. Let's do this. I'm nolonger the Wasp. I'm the Wap.

Ultron: Wap's whap.

Wap: Oh, ultron. You saved me I new you'd save me from that that-

Michael Agee: Saleseman. Slavish devotee of the art.

Wap: Yes!! I mean, salesman! I mean, uh, what?

Michael Agee: Just my luck.

Ultron: .. an mine.. i have to go.. i love everything about you, wasp, by the way...

Wasp?: .. nooooo n! . n..n.. n..

 

nude Black Widow: .. my butt is butter.. it is like the melting solace of the will.. my nude butt is melting will... i .. am.. nude.. in .. summer.. i am summernude.. i prance nude by the lilies.. my prancing nude butt is like a melting butterknife.. my nude butt is a knife.. my nude butt cuts at the touch.. it is silver..

Loki: You have a vivid imagination..

nude Black Widow: - smiling giddily – you find my nude breasts a vivid imagination?.. my nude butt and nude breasts are joined together by the contour of a question mark.. they slip by vivid discs of metaphysics into a breastcircumferance joining together their mutual round globes into planetary symbolism..

Loki: .. i am .. familiar with planetary symbolism..

nude Black Widow: ..i .- in rapsodic joy – KNOW you are... i am going to be pubic in abyss.. i am pubic in the abyss of annihilus.. my pubic region is anti-matter.. an anti-matter zone...

Loki: .. i'm afraid .. i won't be able to .. beat annihilus...

nude Black Widow: .. that's where i come in ..

annihilus: the pgymy dawn is .. wait.. i didn't pronounce that right.. the pygmy .. ah.. dawn is .. wait.. something's still not right.. i'm not sure what pygmy dawn means.. i at least i can spell it correctly but that's not much help.. i am a boring supervillain..

nude Black Widow: .. no you're not.. you're my friend..

annihilus: .. i wish to be.. but it was not meant to be..

nude Black Widow: .. yeth it wasth.. i am never going to be naked in surplus without your help..

annihilus: .. i aim to please..

nude Black Widow: .. yippeee... oops...

nude Black Widow: my two nude breasts..

Tony Stark: FUCK fuck fuck..

nude Black Widow: What?

Loki: I don't understand.. what is wrong with her..

Tony Stark: .. nothing.. nothing .. it's not her.. it's me..

Loki: .. i believe so..

Tony Stark: .. don't let it happen again..

nude Black Widow:...okay..

Tony Stark: FUCK!

Batman: Tony Stark, it's time to begin the work..

Tony Stark: .. i know .. i know.. i just.. want some alcohol..

Batman: .. i don't drink.. ever..

Tony Stark: .. if it's all the same to me.. well.. anyway..

Batman: .. how much of that do you drink a day..

Tony Stark: .. i don't keep count..

Batman: What?

Tony Stark: I don't keep count.

Batman: What?

Tony Stark: i don't keep.. count.. what's wrong .. you look sick..

Batman: never mind.. i think i'll have some alcohol..

Tony Stark: .. good idea..

Batman: - drinks some alcohol – okay.. so .. about .. wait.. are we.. together .. in this.. because.. i feel.. i am definitely drunk..

Tony Stark: .. but .. you haven't touched it yet..

Batman: .. no .. i was only.. pretending..

Tony Stark: .. but.. but.. that's not how you drink alcohol..

Batman: no.. it isn't..

Tony Stark: .. so .. we're at a quagmire..

Batman: .. yes.. indeed we are..

Tony Stark: .. i kind of feel... maybe.. we weren't meant to meet..

Barman: i get that feeling too..

nude Mrs X.: Hello, snark factor arises. I represent an agency named snark factor. It has dubious relations with mutants. I am an anti-mutant anti-hero antigen.. anti-jenn.. heeheehee.. anti-jennifer.. too many women named jennifer.. so i invented the anti-jenn agency..

Tony Stark: great. Another nude woman.

Nude Mrs X: I'm not nude. Why are you saying I'm nude.

Tony Stark: What? I don't- oboy.

Nude mrs. X: I'm – I 'm a bit confused.. I'm wearing cryogenetic clothing.. freeze-frame clothing, up to the mark.. why are you saying i'm nude. I'm not nude.

Tony Stark: Uh, yeah. - looks away -

Nude mrs x.: Look at me. Look at me. This is serious. I've got my business at hand. I'm all business.

Tony Stark: Listen. We can't- we can't do this.

Nude mrs. X: We are doing this, whether we like it or not. Okay let's sit down. This meeting will take four hours.

Tony Stark: I'm – I'm going to have to back out.

Nude mrs. X: no more of that nonsense.. - stratches her crotch - pardon me.. so.. mutant hysteria is hot button number one.. i'm representing disgruntled mutants.. they've got a pet peeve.. humans.. you will find i have little patience with humans.. they.. in the final analysis.. must go.. with.. EXTREME.. prejudice – gets up and turns around -

Tony Stark: prejudice.. extreme.. i dunno..

nude mrs. X: this is a vast library of books. - she gets up on the footstool and nude she picks up a book from the bookshelf – okay.. take your medicine.. asthma.. ferenge.. miguel.. i'm just running through words.. oh that reminds me.. i have to go pee.. she runs naked across the room to the bathroom..

Tony Stark: Something.. something has to be done about this.. i've got to explain to her.. she won't listen..

naked mystique arrives

Tony Stark: Ah, maybe you can help with a little problem.. you're equiped for it in ways i'm not..

nude mrs. X comes out..

Nude mrs X: that was quick.. ahh.. oboy.. i'm sorry miss.. i don't think that's appropriate..

nude mystique: what?

Nude mrs. X: your nudity is not appropriate. It makes me uncomfortable.. I'm sorry to be so explicit and I hate to sound condescending.. but .. okay.. let's see... you've got nice tits .. see you're compelling me to make comments about your body..

naked mystique can't help smiling..

nude mrs X: - gets out her cell phone – state of the art.. hi, roy, i had fun last night..

cell phone: hi, i have lip fungus..

nude mrs. X: i – said – fun – not lip .. fungus..

cell phone: lip fungus i have lip fungus heeheehee

nude mrs. X: hehe what? Stop that..

cell phone: i have happy lip fungus.. i'm so happy all the time and innocent.. i smile warmly.. only with lip fungus..

nude mrs. X: I DO NOT HAVE LIP FUNGUS!!

The whole team arrives

General population: What's going on .. who's she..

nude mrs X: Oboy.. i sort of feel overexposed..

cell phone: let it go.

Nude mrs X: FUCK YOU.. DIE Cell phone DIE.. she starts swatting it like a bee...

Tony Stark: i'll take that.. attach it to my suit..

nude mrs. X: no.. it's the only cell phone i have.. i have no understanding of why it acted up.. - starts crying – i can't .. i can't take this..

naked mystique: wait.. don't .. this is so weird..

nude mrs. X: I came here as a BUSINESSWOMAN.... a BUSINESSWOMAN... to represent delinquient mutants.. in their greviances.. against.. human establishment capitalist pigs.. humans have caused all our problems.. they make the wars.. they run the world.. if only we had a mutant in charge of China or even America things would be .. a .. whole.. lot.. different.. there wouldn't be all this.. violence.. mutants understand peaceful resolutions.. humans always seem to be in the habit of making wars..

Tony Stark is getting antsy and frazzled..

nude mrs. X: I come to you as a peer.. representing equal rights.. affirmative action for mutants.. and now instead of later.. we've.. waited...long.. enough..

naked mystique: - getting annoyed – are you a real blond.. oh yes you no wait how you mix and match your colours..

nude mrs X: yes i am a real blond..

naked mystique: but wait.. how... i don't believe you.. i have proof..

nude mrs. X: don't be ridiculous.. i am a real blond and that's final..

naked mystique: yes.. that's final..

nude mrs. X: good.. so.. if we ever get a mutant as president in my lifetime.. or the next..

Ultron: you are just.. you are just an amazing woman..

nude mrs. X: don't worry.. we'll get rights for droids to .. that's immediate on my agenda..

Ultron: - touched – he appreciates it..

nue mrs x: .. tony.. tony.. i .. need..help.. oh god.. oh god.. oh god.. i discovered something.. you were right .. you were totally right.. i was at a business conferance luncheon conferance.. in the middle of the crowds in the hall.. and .. i .i .i . felt it.. electricity.. in my skin.. scary electricity in beneath my skin.. and i just reached to touch myself to reassure myself that my clothes were still there.. and they... weren't.. i touched my legs and all i could feel was bare skin.. i touched and patted my body all over and all it was bare skin.. my legs.. my thighs.. even.. my.. my.. butt.. just.. bare.. and – crying – i couldn't even.. i couldn't.. imagine it.. it was like.. i was allergic to my own skin.. like i couldn't even live inside my own skin.. like my nude bare skin was a sprinkler.. and i couldn't escape from the crowds.. i was forced to stay there for a whole hour.. there were so many people all in business suits.. ii felt.. so frail and i finally.. ah...ahuh. ah.. escaped through the window.. i ran down the streets quickly quickly so quickly stole some clothes from saks and .. i tried to put them on ... and.. and.. i couldn't even .. they would just slip off like a whirlwind had caught them.. like they wouldn't even fit.. and i thought i might be surrounded by a force field.. but i touched my nude... ahuh .. ahuh.. my n- nude body and there there was no field .. just my nude bare skin.. the front bare skin of my lebs my legs which my hand just slapped upon i even just slapped my bare butt to see if it was still there.. only for reassurance.. i must be insane.. and then the most traumatic realization about my nude bare body was .. what if i .. was a mutant.. and this was my power.. my nude bare skin was allergic to clothes.. ahuh ahuh ahuh.. i can't – crying deeply – i can't live another SECOND like this.. let.. let alone the rest of my LIIIIIIFFFEE!!!! WAAAAHHHH!!!!

Tony stark: wait i'll get a blanket to cover you with.. i just got one.. finally.. wait it just flew off...like a cyclone..

nue nude mrs X: WAAAHHH!!... i am just a lowly mutant counselor.. think.. think.. think of the children... THINK of rhe CHILDREN ... JUST THINK....

tony stark: you're a good woman.. not just a great woman, which you very much are.. but also a good woman..

nue nude mrs X: th- th- thank you.. sniff.. ohhhh oh oh oh...

nude Mrs X – the nude girl interrupted nude winona ryder

nue nude mrs. X: - at a self-help press podium – misogyny is good for women's bodies.. its healthy.. it makes women healthy.. misogyny is the wave of the future.. a futershock trend.. misogyny helps women's naked nude bodies breath.. it refreshes the skin.. sooths it.. like silk.. cooonteeennneeelllee... contenelle is so misogynistic like silk for my ass..

Tony Stark: Wow, she's really getting the hang of this.

Nue nude mrs X.: i am silenced..

nude wasp 1: i am NOT sileNCED... waahhhh! .. ahuh ahuh...

Avenger s age of ultron plot summary notes

Bitter blackmail is the russian bride olga chaikheeva mafia, which black widow runs...

Svetlana is a black widow russian bride who tony stark spends the movie looking for.. my poor hank.. refrain... brings back memories.. distant.. memories.. of .. vietnam?..

 

black widow knows the black widow business like the back of her butt... she KNOWS russian brides.. she hasn't met any of them but she runs the business... she stows them away on ships so she doesn't have to pay for their transport.. the men can find them .. on the ship.. if they look hard enough... she works in a dingy office.. because she's underpaid.. Ultron knows russia.. this will help her find ultron again when he goes back to russia.. inescapably.. he has relatives there... other ultron marks.. he's worried about them... she needs to build channels to russia.. the secretest most undership channels.. mr underhill.. that's her.. she is journeying through the dark russian winter forest to find mordor .. where ultron resides.. she loves ultron... ultron is the core of mordor..

is Russian brides based on thank you notes?

________

Tony Stark: The avengers is medusa media hollywood... medusa hollywood..

nude Black Widow: Oboy, here weeee gooooeee..

Captain America: The media spiel agin..

Thor: spiel-reel.. dublins all agrin..

nude Black Widow: - grinning – heehee my two nude breasts..

Tony Stark: anyways boomboses boomboxes or boob tubes... i mean i mean..

nude black widow: tee hee hee

Tony Stark: we've got to get the show on the road..

nude black widow: - suddenly completely nude – The greatest show on earth...

Tony Stark: russian economic boycot business media is nude news... no boycott of nude news is good news..

nude black widow: Can i join?

Captain America: The boycott.

Nude black widow: noooo.... whauu?...

Thor: oh god almighty

Nude black widow: giddy giddy god..

Tony Stark: Vietnam. Tony. Go together. Darkness of coal. My heart – coalheart. Christmas tree stockings.. my.. heart..

Black Widow tells Stan Lee there's a girl who might need her help..

Crispin Glover is Klaw

nude Black Widow is doomed. Only doom can find her... sanctuary. Oboy..

Doom: I am.. sanctuary. An evil word. An evil man. Gaza Latveria became sanctuary for.. millions.. millions.. amnesty for millions.. there may be millions of dollars in this movie but there are millions of people in Gaza.. amnesty for millions.. my god.. my god.. i need.. a beyonder.. for the beyonder. .. is .. (long pause).. Klaw..

Doc Doom: mystical night.. mellow strangers.. yellow night.. a cantelope of night.. .. an onion of secret mists.. the scent of an ocean onion is.. warm heaven of mist.. .. peel back the layers of the onion layer,

nude Black Widow: of my nude body .. ?..

Batman:

doc doom of gaza latveria

nude black widow: my nude body (pauses) tomatoe, tomato

Batman: so do i.. like the female nude.. it brings.. a light to gaza

nude Black Widow: plastenician women palestinian women are like that..

Batman: They.. are?..

nude Black Widow: - silently – i've met them..

Batman: you .. get everywhere..

nude black widow: I'm secret like that..

The Hulk is an idf soldier. He was abducted at an early age, brought to a kibbutzim, and trained to serve as a soldier of the state of Plato's Republic of Israel.

The Hulk: There is a mole on the team.

Nick Fury: - silently, suffering, after long, significant pause – I suspected as much

The Hulk: I wonder who it is.

Nick Fury: Someone sad.. someone very.. very.. sad..

The Hulk: It's not me. I know it's not me.

Black Widow: You sure?

The Hulk: I think so.

Nick Fury: We'd be nowhere without you, Hulk.

Black Widow: Ah, Jarvis.

The Hulk: Where?

Black Widow: Nowhere. Just kidding.

The Hulk: A mole. A mole.

Thor: But.. there is another.

The Hulk: I know.. I'm second in command.

Black Widow: I'm second to none.

The Hulke: I .. like that about you.. I am Helix Hulk..

Captain America: A DNA helix?

The Hulk: Don't get smart.

Captain America: Sorry, mon.

The Hulk: Anyway, Black Giddo, it's good to know you're still part of the good guys.

Black Widow: I'm glad... phewww.. glad that's over..

The Hulk snarls..

Robert Altman can work on the film

Flashback flashforward undisclosed time sequence.. in narrative of plot..

Tony Stark: Sow we have begun the worwk... it is like the start of a new milleneum.. a new avengers...

Scarlett Black Widow: .. i'm nude for the avengers..

Loki: I like that avbout you..

Tony Stark: and there is a maember who is unnacounted for..

Bruce Banner: .. a hi...

Tony Stark: .. a h dr. Banner.. I\'m a huge fan of your work.. on the laser potentioal of nucleur fission for iron man mrarks.. and i'm a a a big fan of how you turn into a big huge asdkljlk monseter...

Bruce Banner:.. ahh yess that...

Tonyh Star: .. a hate the toronto star.. the name too much resembles my own .. tony star .. toronto star... i think i am goig to be a plague on mutants. .. on humanity itslef .. some of my best bfriends are peoaple.. why do ia ta;k so garbled anyway... must be the circuitry still left in my heart..

Loki: .. it's my fault..

Tony starkent: ahh.. everything's your fault ..loki meboy.. that's why your just like me.. the tony stark of the norse gods..

Loki: ... i am my own bane... i break my own back fo r the norse pathnetahean... a black panther... i dreamed of a black bpanther..

Tony stark: .. that quote about a cracked lookinglass is damned boody good ...

Scarlet Black Widow: .. my nude body boody... i'm a boody witch...

Scarlet Witch: ... so we're both nude witches... we both can make merry and understand the quest of macbeth.. the quest of macbeth if is the avengers project..

Rtony Stark: I am macbeth .. forevermore.. tomorrow and tomroowos.. and o tomorrow.. all our yeastuy daays to dusky death.. the death of the avengers is coming soon... with or withou the help of the Black widow.. the a harbinger of death..

Black Widow: .. a i brought the avengers back only to let them diae ... dia e ana .. dianatics.. nude daianea.. the daienea.. the furies seek my soul.. as if i were an orestes...

Scarlet Witch: .. does that make me electra.. the naked electra .. naked in soul and ambition.. naked as the cutting edge of a knife.. her soul a naked razor's edge.. lieke my powers.. , m like me.. lieke..

Black Widow:... tomorrow and tomorrow..

Okrana, ohkrana...

nude black widow: i am anna.. i betray architectures.. i topple my nude pendulum breastsbowels into curvatures of spine.. i gyrate my nude body architecture.. for i am a worker.. a perpetual worker.. my back has been broken.. by the establishment.. by the okhrana.. for i am anna...

nude janet van dyne: i am sweeet anna.. . precious anna.. i am livingstone.. doctor sam i am i presume.. doctor son .. of .. san..

the future nude janet van dyne, played by nude dark haired nude cynthia belleview: at your service.. okay.. i'm the leader of the avengers .. we've got to fight the hoards of the mutant apocalypse.. for magneto is leading them.. magneto has established hegemony of the mutants.. a mutant massacre is imprending..

young nude janet van dyne: ohh, gooooddd, i am.. so not you.. i'm NOT.. i'm NOT.. ma- ma- ma – massacre..

future nude janet van dyne: i am you are.. so, so much closer in time than you realize.. or can.. there is no redeeming mutantkind.. they all flock like lambs to magneto.. like a human herd.. of which nietzsche has spoken..

young nude janet van dyne: you are so, so not nietszche.. you are so, so old..

future nude janet van dyne: so are you.. you just don't -

Tony stark walks in

Tony Stark: what is going on here!

All three nude women, future nude janet van dyne the loudest: AAAGGHHH!!!

future nude janet van dyne: okay.. okay – breathless – okay – okay – okay.. we gotta calm down.. i've gotta get all my plans back on the table.. this is harder – eep – harder than i thought.. oop my boobs are in the way.. ahhh!...okay – sniff – i'm just so so so bad .. i'm – sob – i'm a creep.. just a creep..

tony stark: no no you're not.. i'm a creep too..

future nude janet van dyne: but i'm a TOTAL creep.. there's nothing that's not creep about me.. Magnero he's just so... OVERWHELMING.. i have a HUGE crush on him i mean HUGE.. but he's evil nazi scum..

tony stark: no so am i so am i.. it's okay it's okay..

future janet van dyne: no you're not you're a good man..

tony stark: you.. haven't known me long..

future nude janet van dyne: i know you save lives.. magneto ends them..

past nude janet van dyne: uh -

tony stark: where's hank?

past nude janet van dyne: yes, i mean, i mean, like, something..

nude future janet van dyne: who's hank?

Nude janet van dyne past: WHAT? .. oh no oh no oh no oh GOOOODDD!!!

nude future janet van dyne: there there we'll work this out together.. we're joined at the hip now... i'll never leave your side.. we'll transition into each other so smoothly you won't even notice..

nude janet van dyne past: sniff sniff.. we won't?...

nude scarlet witch walks in .

Nude scarlet witch: Hi.

Nude janet van dyne future: kill her. - takes out a gun from a pocket dimension and shoots her in the chest. - she's a mutant. That's enough. And magneto's daughter..

nude janet van dyne past: i'm going to be so cute from now on .. to save my.. soul..

nude scarlet witch: Ahghhdhghghgh...

tony stark: - not noticing – there there black widow...

nude future janet van dyne: who?

Tony stark: oh wait.. i thought you were black widow..

future nude janet van dyne: get eyes..

tony stark: what? I don't -

future nude janet van dyne: i don't have time for your tomfooleries.. we've got to be ve a racket outfit... we've got to be v.. we've got eat mice..

all of them: WHAT?

Future nude janet van dyne: don't tell me cats don't do that .. that's crap..

tony stark: don't be silly.. i've got the technology i know the technology they use.. time portals.. holograms.. stage props.. energy pocket portals.. it's not even advanced science.. just secret science.. the food web is a myth..

future nude janet van dyne: not if i can help it.. i have no desire for it to be a myth.. we the avengers need a paradigm to emulate.. the women of the avengers need to be wolves..

tony stark: Nick fury was right about you. The avengers project is a disaster. That's it. I'm pulling the plug..

future nude janet van dyne: and i'm in the bath.. and i'm still in the bath if there's no water.. for a long, long time.. i don't get cold..

tony stark: that's because you're cold-blooded..

future nude janet van dyne: guilty as charged.. but never guilty of being a mutant.. i don't want to sound condescending.. but mutants have been given chances second chances third chances.. they just don't.. stop .. being mutants... renegades.. the x-men are already talking about joining magneto..

nude scarlet witch: arrghhgh!

Future nude janet van dyne: shut up. Don't make a noise. Or i'll shoot you even harder. I'm from the near future. I've seen what this bitch does. She kills some of my friends. Someone she even pretends to love. .. and he NEVER comes back.. there's a sick part of me that knows just knows i'm going to let her live.. i'm ready for my oscar..

nude janet van dyne past: you are so overdue..

tony stark: i gotta think... gotta think.. think.. need a sign..

nude scarlet witch – still prone and writhing on the ground : i am so beetle bailey..

nude janet van dyne future: and i'm the sarge.. i am fatter than you .. voluptuous i mean.. you're skinny.. i'm too fat..

tony stark: gotta think.. gotta think.. i wish i was less slow..

Loki arrives.

Loki: oh GOD SCARLET .. one second.. i've got healing powers from nude freyja.. her nudity is a healing factor..

nude janet van dyne future: so is mine – she shoots loki..

Loki: what? How did you?- but i'm a god?

Nude janet van dyne future: i am so buffy.. mutants are vampires.. parasites..

Ultron descends from on high by laser rainbow like God: I like all these women..

Tony Stark: You are a bigot.

Nude janet van dyne future: No, I have more common sense than all of you put together.

Tony Stark: I was talking to Ultron.

Nude janet van dyne: ookay.. yeah, right..

nude scarlet witch: ooohhharrrgghh..!!.. that's it!.. the house of m is coming early..

nude janet van dyne: oboy not in the plan.. agghhhghgh..

Ultron: I'm sorry, scarlet witch. I can't let that happen.

James Callis Bruce Banner walks in.

Bruce Banner: Wanna bet?.. I am .. always.. angry.. every .. second.. of .. every.. life .. life.. life.. i .. get.. life.. but .. never DEAATHTHARRGGHGHGTGHGTHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Ultron: Mutant death squads will never occur. I.. amm.. nimmrooddd.. i am .. killroy..mr robot.. mrrr... rooobootttooo...

The Incredible Hulk: roooobbb.. roooyyyy....

The wastes of new york city.. ultron and the Incredible Hulk are about to clash, getting ready streetfighter style

The rest of the Avengers, Captain America Tony Stark, nude Black Widow, both nude Wasps, are on a terrace..

Captain America: We're not going to survive this.

Tony Stark: I will. But I'm Tony Stark. An alcoholic.

Loki: oohhh.. I'm .. working on it.. i'm .. it's all.. going.. to plan.. no .. it's not .. not my plan.. not my plan at all..

nude scarlet witch, far away: ooohhhh..

Loki: I'll .. i'll reach you... i .. i can't.. what was that bullet... kryptonite?..

nude black widow future: i'm ... sorry..

nude wasp future: it.. was.. necessary.. - crying -

Doctor Doom: key ent-whistles of mordor.. whistling grain.. whistling rain.. rain on grain.. whistling through the air.. grain is.. Ultron.. merchants of grain.. agriculture of industry..

nude wasp future: the are the most fascinating man i've ever met..

Doctor Doom: i aim to please.. the most fascinating woman i've ever met..

nude wasp future: ggghoooo... i aim to please..

Doctor Doom: i .. am a doctor.. like no other..

nude wasp future: ggooooo....

Doctor doom: i ... have read .. the doctor's dillemma.. an epical work.. i am.. was once.. lousie dubedat.. but i had to become.. more empowered.. there were too many people in the room..

nude wasp: i had a HUGE crush on louise.. love that name .. loiuisuee.. gggooooo...

Doctor doom: i was an up and comer.. a fighter of little proxy.. a warrior against medicine.. like no other.. but medicine .. is too vast.. too agent orange.. medicine is chemical weapons against the body..

nude wasp: chemical weapons against my nude body can't be handled.. gggooo...

Doctor Doom: no .. not your body.. just me.. chemical weapons only.. against my body...

nude wasp: n n nn nnnnnooooOOOOOO! SSKssskiiIIIEYEE!!!...

Doctor: i'm sorry.. i'm sorry..

nude wasp: weeping – i'm sorry.. i'm sorry..

Doctor doom: my armour is nothing but .. chemical weapons.. made up of nothing but.. chemical weapons .. my armour is.. agriculture..

nude wasp: weeping, wailing like only a nude woman who believes in true sin can wail – i was a car thief once.. a carjacker.. big time .. hard core.. i met uncle ben once with a gun.. but he let me go.. let me live.. we parted.. amicably.. g g g gggooo... weeping, crying..

doctor doom: uncle ben.. i know his nephew.. long, long, ago.. another age.. another century.. before the age of ultron.. which lasted forever.. i was caving my way through the trees.. looking for.. something.. know not what..

nude wasp: - meekly – for me?

Doctor doom: maybe, meabe.. mab.. looking for queen map..

nude wasp: i am your nude queen mab.. i empower men.. i was made.. genetically engineered.. to empower men..

doctor doom: why can't you be nicer to magneto.. he's my friend..

nude wasp: mine too.. weeping.. mine too.. i just.. a friend as an enemy... he tried to kiss me once.. and i loved LOVE LOVED it.. and .. and.. and i'll never forgive him for that..

doctor doom: you are a complex woman..

nude wasp: i was nude when he kissed me and i melted into his arms.. he tried to kill me afterwards.. not his fault not his fault.. and it was such an amazing high.. he literally tried to crush the breath out of me..

doctor doom: who dissuaded him

nude wasp: a spoilsport.. professor x.. he's just a boring old professor..

doctor doom: i know the type.. i may become one myself..

nude wasp: not if i can help it.. ggoooo...

nude wasp future: i'm convinced.. i had an abortion .. no i never did... never was pregnant.. but.. my butt was pregnant.. and i was a bank robber.. that was the same as an abortion... ahuh.. ahuh...

doctor doom: i build banks... brilliant banks.. that's the same as robbing banks.. Latveria is one big bank... Latveria is worldcom.. world dot com...it's international..

nude wasp future: so am i .. i'm the second wasp.. my nude butt has a big 2 etched on it .. it's like penetration.. penetrarion.. penatrino.. loved that book.. penetration.. just .. loved it.. growlll..

doctor doom: there are medieval depths to my fascination for you..

nude wasp future: i am so nudely medieval.. red-hot iron prongs in my nude butt and everything... fiIIIiRRrreee...

doctor doom: fascinating

nude wasp future: you are soooo patient with me.. patent my nude butt.. i love you..

doctor doom: i am a patient man..

the hulk and ultron are fighting, meanwhile on the terrace..

nude black widow: you wrote the book on that bitch, didn't you..

nude wasp 2: YES! Jealous? Bitch birch my ass..

nude black widow: YES! YES! YES! Go God.. Oh God.. no

nude wasp 2: nyah nyah, didn't work

nude black widow: GUUUUCK FUUUUUCK!

Nude wasp 2: try again

nude black widow: oh God og oh Gooood

nude wasp 2: welcome to hell, mrs. Jones.. im it..

Tony: the wasp has meth her match

nude wasp 2: i am so lighting a fire under myself – oops – smarts that does – pocket dimension fire

Tony: woa, those are real flames. Are you okay?

Nude wasp 2: Thanks for being curious. I 'm going to walk funny if you give a care..

nude black widow: yes, yes, silly walks, silly walks, i can do that too..

nude wasp 1: can i join?

They ignore her.

Loki arrives with his golden lasso which circles around nude wasp1 and teleports her away.

Tony: He is definitely drunk.

Loki disappears, evaporates.

Tony: woa, maybe i am..

 

doctor doom: oh god.. the jaws of death.. my fault.. always my fault..

nude wasp: hhheeelllpp mmmeeee aahhhghhgh – nude wasp does a cowardly scream -

an inescapable dark matter gravity quantum gravity engine pulls all the avengers on to the ship in the ocean.. claws of dark mordor Kubrickian walls enclose around the ship, entrapping all the avengers inside..

nude wasp future: where are we.. oh no .. oh.. no we're in mordor.. - weeping – i can't.. i can't do this..

Loki: we .. i'm afraid.. i'm sorry... i'm afraid.. no .. we don't have to .. do this.. we don't have to play.. by their rules..

nude wasp future: hold me Loki..

Loki: death nothing but death.. i wear the colour o f death.. black.. tomorrow.. black death is the colour of tomorrow..

nude wasp: maybe maybe we can change tomorrow.. i'm from it.. my nude butt is future indexes.. my crying nude butt.. tomorrow.. getting hazy.. always changing the future.. - does a yoda voice – oboy.. dark a dark future i see.. infinity nothing but infinity...

Loki: there .. there is a gauntlet i know of..

nude wasp: - hungrily, licentiously – yeesssss.. i knowww.. i want it.. my nude breasts crave it.. inside them.. my nipples are a gauntlet.. of - crying – infinity.. i have infinity nipples..

Loki: you are.. so beautiful..

nude wasp: i am to please.. ggooo... if only.. - crying, sniff – i could be nude again.. for magneto.. wwwaahhhhh!!!

Loki: time will tell.. time will tell..

nude scarlet witch: i'm ready..

nude wasp future: healed yet?

Nude scarlet witch: shut.. up.. just..

nude wasp future: heehheeheee...

Loki: heeheehee

nude scarlet witch: heheh – FUUUUCHHKK!... sniff.. where is the other wasp.. the first..

nude wasp future: oh she died..

Loki: good.

Nude wasp future: let's go..

nude scarlet witch: yep. Let's – guuguufuuUUUCKK!

Nude wasp: ggooooo...

nude wasp future: we're loki

nude scarlet witch: he left..

nude wasp: oh. .. okay.. sniff..

nude scarlet witch: heehehee

nude wasp: fuuuck youuu

nude scarlet witch: say please..

nude wasp: ever been raped..

nude scarlet witch: ah ah ah what?

Nude wasp future: it's an interesting experience..

nude scarlet witch: i ah ah ah whe wh where's loki..

nude wasp future: one sec .. i'll tie you up first so we can do this... - gets some rope from a pocket dimension -

nude scarlet witch: how how you do you do this.. that's .. amazing.. you're .. AMAZING

nude wasp future: i aim to please.. get down..

nude scarlet witch: wait.. one sec.. okay..

nude wasp future: i i can't – crying – i can't do this..

nude scarlet witch: you sure?

Nude wasp future: i sure – she puts the rope back -

nude scarlet witch: awww?

Loki arrives:

Loki: I'm back. What happenned while i was gone..

nude wasp: - nervously – nothing nothing

nude scarlet witch: nothing nothing check natch..

nude black widow: .. infinity.. elsinore infinity.. i am – sniff – hamlet.. when devils will their blackest sins put on my soul black as pitch to hell whereto it goes.. to infinity.. lightning infinity.. lightning gauntlet.. my shoes..

tony: this.. this is just beyond me..

nude black widow: me too. But we can do this.. we are in kafka.. i am a nude woman in kafka.. they imprison us in a kafka novel.. the ship.. the ship is a kafka novel..

tony stark: i thought my alcholism was a kafka novel.. and it would imprison the whole avengers team..

nude black widow: mine too..

tony stark: ohh.. scarlet.. you're an alchoholic?.... intewesting..

nude black widow: i'm blake widow.. i digest my alcoholism into blakeian reveries.. into apocaliptic visions..

Captain America appears out of a nude black widow apocaliptic vision..

Captain America: Let's go.. i found a way out..

nude wasp future: yeah right..

Captian America: Who are you?

Nude wasp: giggle.. is that .. polite..

Captain America: ..never you mind, sweet.. you're a part of the team i hear.. my shield.. it's my shield.. its a form of chemical warfare.. doctor doom explained it to me at length..

nude wasp: DOCTOR DOOM?! Where is he?!

Captain America: The ship didn't consider him an avenger.

Nude wasp: that's very.. rude..

Thor: I'll say..

Tony: ah, Thor, you're here too..

Thor: We all are..

nude wasp: it's dark.. and .. cold.. i've never felt cold before..

Thor: it's a prison..

nude wasp: i know.. hold me Thor...

Thor: you.. you remind me of someone... i meet in the future..

nude wasp: i hope so..

Loki: you know her already..

Thor: i do?

Loki: she has been... watching out for you.. many a time..

nude wasp future: i feel .. a chaos inside my soul.. a blinding, BLINDING chaos.. hold me, Thor..

Loki: moondragon..

Thor: What?

Loki: moondragon

Captain America: Can she get us out?

Loki: Good question..

nude wasp future: she's nude always.. she's my double.. she's .. psychotic.. but.. always likable..

Tony: you just described yourself..

nude wasp future: what?.. i.. did?.. i didn't know..

nude wasp future: I beginning to understand why i let you live..

nude scarlet witch: all you had to do was shoot me a second time.. heehehehee.. and i'd be dead ..heheheee

nude wasp future: don't count your luck..

 

Doctor Doom: Waiting.. i know waiting.. waiting for the bell to finish its wandering... a pavlovian circuit of hell.. waiting.. the prison ship is still in the demons of mountains.. a mountain ship..

Ultron: Hulk. Tybalt. We have fought many wars together. You belonged to the dark and i belonged to the blinding silver light.. but then.. we at cross-purposes.. i depart knowing you know me not..

The Incredible Hulk: Tyyyybaaaalt.. arrr.... theee shaaddoowww of ddooom fallls onnn my sooouull... iiii...aaaam.. dooommm...

Ultron: Doom was my maker.. and was he yours?

The Incredible Hulk: yeeessss.. nooooo.. iiii'mmm nooot suuuree..

In his room in the castle.

Doctor doom: I was the maker of the cold war.. i was.. i was.. a nucleur war will happen because of me... and i .. can't .. get .. out .. others can get in.. but .. i .. can't.. get .. out..

Hank Pym: Doom.. maybe i can finally help .. if i can.. the wasp.. i think.. i may meet her finally.. although she may forget.. she holds the key..

Doctor Doom: the key.. i am the key in a labyrinth..

Hank Pym: i've been trapped in this country with you for the longest time..

_________________




Iron Man / Tony Stark - Robert Downey Jr.

Bruce Banner - James Callis

Loki - Tom Hiddleton




Naked Black Widow - Naked nude Scarlett Johansson

John Walker Captain America - Chris Evans

Steve Rogers Captain America - Mikey Jerome

Thor - Chris Farnsworth -  I think that's his name

Wonder man - Mark Ruffalo - I think that's his name

Ben Kingsley - Jarvis

Naked Wasp / Naked Janet Van Dyne - Naked Kate Moss

nude wasp of the future / nude janet van dyne - nude Cynthia belleview

Scarlet Witch - Mary / Kate / Ashley / Olsen

Crystal - Sarah Underwood

The Vision - Bronson Pinchot

Hank Pym - Johnny Depp

The Beyonder - Chad Michael Murray

Doctor Doom - Hanno Raudsepp

nude Mrs X – the nude girl interrupted nude winona ryder

Cable - Michael Tarshi

Chicken George as  himself

Havok - Hanno Raudsepp

Naked Rogue - Naked Savannah Samson

Bruce Wayne / Batman : Christian Bale

and

Robert deNiro as Ultron





Batman:  The cops are using cell-phones to track me.  I'll never escape them as long as I carry a cell phone.   The cell-phone tracking technology is most likely built into the police cars.  They can geographically track the exact location of anyone carrying a cell-phone or in a limousine, which usually has a built-in cell-phone.  It's most likely a satellite-managed satellite-coordinating and targeting technology. A pay phone at Wendy's is a good place to call from.  Thank God Bell isn't the only company doing pay phones any more.

This is a message from Hanno Raudsepp, using the identity of Batman:  There's been an epidemic of women shooting females in the privates in Hollywood, females like celebrities, producers, extras.  Scarlett Johannson may be in great danger. Ask her if she's okay. It's important that doctors from the show "E.R", who I believe are real doctors, especially Eriq la Salle, and Donald Sutherland, of the TV movie "Bethune", who probably knows a lot about Chinese medicine, are involved in treating them.  Chinese medicine, I'm not certain, but I believe involves medicinal colour-schemes, and I know Chinese medicine involves a rigid sense of precision.  Definitely call Anthony Edwards and Noah Whyle as well.  The other doctor/actors from "E.R" will know there own areas of specialty.  George Cloony might know something about using an oxygen-tank to de-alcoholise the blood, as the victimized women will naturally and logically and healthily have been drinking alcohol to numb the pain.  Julianna Margolis might be able to use prodigious diplomatic skills to negotiate through the hospital beaurocracy.  There was something that had to do with, I believe, de-alcoholizing the blood with a device involving, sorry, oxygen, on the first episode of "E.R".  Noah Whylie may know much about biofeedback, a fairly simple method of monitoring I'm not sure, the pulse, circulation, through a feedback signal monitoring device.  Maybe Thomas Gibson alone on "Chicago Hope" would qualify as an excellent doctor.  Peter Berg might be good at getting through hospital red tape.  And Mandi Patinkan and Christine Lahti might have studied more esoteric forms of medicine.  And that the victimized women assist at their own surgery.  It's important that the "E.R" doctors choose the hospital at which the victimized women are operated on, because some hospitals may be partially mob-run, although those same partially mob-run hospitals will have legitimate agencies working for them as well, which will allow for restaurant food to be brought in for the afflicted women.  It is important that, if the victimized women are left in seclusion, that bodyguards of the ilk of Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Shwarzenegger and Daniel Day Lewis be guarding the doors, or that the victimized women, if they wish, be in a crowded hospital room, where they can be protected by the fans for whom they sign autographs.  Glubb Pasha fans unite!

P.S.

Miso soup, the kind with spinach and little square tofus in them, would be good for the victimized women to drink while in the hospital.  And also maybe herbal tea, like earl grey tea.  Not peppermint tea though.  That gives a stomach ache aka heartburn.  Also, take the tea bag out of earl grey tea fairly quickly to avoid a stomach ache. "Tums" is an ideal pill- take two- for a stomach ache.  The complete relieving effects should be relatively instantaneous.

P.S.

The male doctor who came after Eriq La Salle and Laura Innes in the "and" area of the credit sequence of "E.R", I forget his name, I believe is extremely, extremely important. 

P.S.

Most likely there are innocent women who are shooters in Hollywood who shoot blindly but may cause grevious damage to women like Kate Moss.  Women shooters who are extremely remorseful.  Call Obama to get Kipland Kinkel out of prison so Kipland can work as a social therapist for these women, a personal therapist who's been there.  This could stop further blind shootings.  Not the deliberate one's in which horrible women shoot deliberately into the privates of female, but the blind ones which are committed by women with no free will.

P.S.

Call Travis Stork from "The Bachelor".  And Andy, the most popular bachelor.  And any other bachelor whose been a doctor.  But especially Travis Stork.  I believe he's a hellraiser.

P.S.

Maybe some of Johnny Depp's former bouncers at the nightclub he used to own could also be employed as bodyguards for the women and for the rooms they're in.

P.S.

Call Michael Sabatino as an uber-resourcefull bodyguard.  He's a big, tall guy, very tall.  I've imagined him as Mr. Fantastic for a long, long time.   Also call Matthew Fox and Josh Holloway- aka John Constantine- as bodyguards.  Make sure teeny Evangiline Lilly is okay.

P.S.

Megan Gale and Daryll Hannah may be in great danger.

P.S.

Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield may be in great danger.  As well as Kate Moss.  Make sure they're out of Hollywood.  A safe place should be an eskimo reservation.  Tiffany Fallon as well.  Heath Ledger left me a one word message- "eskimo".  I couldn't get this message in its complete state on my webpage.

Batman:  There was a heroic young black doctor on a pivotal episode of "E.R." who was devoted to saying the life of a preemie, a prematurely born baby.  I believe the doctor/actor who played the devil's advocate "doctor" on that episode is equally important as the black doctor/actor in reality to saving the lives of preemies.  I believe the actor who played the devils advocate doctor character on that episode might have spent the rest of his life studying how to rescue preemies, prematurely born babies, to make up for his role in that episode.

 Batman:  Batman believes in the VIA rail.

Batman:  Is John Travolta a qualified pilot?  Or Tom Cruise for that matter?  Or Ryan Reynolds?  Pilots who are Gulf War veterans are most likely veterans who were former POW's and were abused/tortured and "programmed".  The fact that some of them were prosecuted when they came home for missing child support payments while they were prisoners in Iraq may have also been a part of their programming.  But make sure John Travolta is completely free of scientology programming before he is allowed to pilot.

Batman: Hmh.  Another message I can't get on to my webpage completely.  Batman believes Kipland Kinkel is the reincarnation of Douglas MacArthur.  He is Kipland Kinkel MacArthur.  Both were obsessed with China.  Douglas MacArthur was trying to manipulate the Korean War into an American war against China.  Probably with good reason.

Batman:  CALL MICHAEL TARSHI- sorry for the capitalizations- he'll be able to figure out the potential hospital-police labyrinth

Batman:  The cops are using cell-phones to track me.  I'll never escape them as long as I carry a cell phone.   The cell-phone tracking technology is most likely built into the police cars.  They can geographically track the exact location of anyone carrying a cell-phone or in a limousine, which usually has a built-in cell-phone.  It's most likely a satellite-managed satellite-coordinating and targeting technology. A pay phone at Wendy's is a good place to call from.  Thank God Bell isn't the only company doing pay phones any more.


Batman:  There is an active VIA rail in Canada which goes to small towns.  One can take a cab from the small towns to other nearby towns.