Spider man 4 script

This is Hanno.  My email is hraudsepp@aol.com

Note from Batman: Batman honestly believes all cell-phones have a nanotechnological flesh-eating disease inside them, air-transmitable.

The Scarlet Witch is the Key. She is being kept in an inescapable Kafka labyrinth by her father Magneto. He believes she will hurt Havok, simply by her mere existance. Magneto is a protector. He will protect Havok from the Scarlet Witch, who Magneto believes can bend the fabric of reality. Magneto solicits Dr. Strange's help to maintain the Scarlet Witch in a coma. An eternal coma.

Peter Parker: The failures of underlings are my proxy of indulgance and i will never know a muffa muffin if i never.. wait.. my story is not for the faint of heart.. already said that.. i see her face every day .. she's my girl.. already said that... i bought a ring and lost it and inexplicably found it again.. already- arrgghh... okay so .. we're at number four.. where do i begin.. i begin with a craven impulse.. to .. DANCE... no.. not that.. anything but that.. so what's left... me meee mmememeemeee .. ah i can sing... i will sing instead of talk while i fight.. that will work.. if it doesn't get me killed first.. by simon cowell... he's my very worst supervillain... the green goblin was my friend.. no my father.. no that was uncle ben.. forgot about him.. the green goblin took care of that.. because he killed him.. no NO.. no.. he didn't he absolutely did not.. that was someone else.. another supervillain.. maybe i'm getting senile my memory is so bad.. my spider sense my spider sense tingling my memory away.. its a headache gone wrong my spider sense.. i wish it would just go away, it's one superpower i could do without...

Mary Jane walks into his apartment.

Peter Parker: Don't you ever knock first.

Mary Jane: Oh, sorry.

Peter Parker: That's okay. Just don't let it happen again.

Mary Jane: I won't.

Peter Parker: Sorry, I'm really sorry. It's battle stress. I take it out on my worst enemies.

Mary Jane: I know, I know, it's hard.

Peter Parker: Tell me about it. You know, every time you walk in, my spider sense tingles. Why is that?

Mary Jane: Beats me.

Peter Parker: I'd like to. Oh God, why do I say this shit. I'm the worst boyfriend.

Mary Jane: No, you're the bestest boyfriend.

Peter Parker: You're right. I'm a prince. I'm Willy Loman. I never get a break.

Mary Jane: I know the feeling. My acting career is at an all-time low.

Peter Parker: Oh, I'm sorry, Mary Jane, I'm so sorry.

Mary Jane: - sniff sniff – oooh, that's good shit. Like some weed.

Peter Parker: I'm sorry. I can't. I might smash into a building and damage it.

Mary Jane: Civic responsibility is important.

Peter Parker: J. Jonah Jameson would be right to fire me if I took some weed.

Mary Jane: No he wouldn't. Try some. Please, pretty please.

Peter Parker: No, I can't. I just can't.

Mary Jane: Want some cake then.

Peter Parker: I'd love some. No wait. You stay there. I'll get some for both of us.

Mary Jane: You're so sweet. I love you.

Peter Parker: Love ya, too, babe.

Mary Jane: I think love makes the planet go round.

Peter Parker: And my webbing will take care of the rest.

Mary Jane: Your webs are like love.

Peter Parker: Love matters. Even to Spider man.

Spider man is swinging through the buildings..

Spider-man: i am a speck.. a speck in the sky.. why am I here, I mean, on this planet, Why am I not somewhere else. Good question. Because spiders eat the city, spiders eat the city-air, promise-crammed. You cannot feed capons so.

Shot of J. Jonah Jameson, sitting at his desk

J. Jonah: What'r you talkin' about, Peter.

Peter: I'm just... ruminating on dusks of morrow.

J. Jonah looks at him and then laughs, Jonah-like.

J. Jonah: Yer speakin' Shakespear, Parker, not english.

Peter: W- What? I'm speaking the Queens english or the Kings english, I'm not sure which.

J. Jonah: Not sure? Not sure? Not sure if there's a king or a queen? Sure you're not in england, pal?

Peter: Pretty sure, yet, I think I was a man in biblical times..

J. Jonah: - suddenly grave, starts speaking slowly – The Bible, you know the Bible. You know the good book,..

Peter: I sometimes feel I'm living the Bible.

J. Jonah: Like is an open book sometimes.

Peter: Books are like clay, easily shapeable to any whim.

J. Jonah: I know, I know, so are newspapers. Newspapers are flimsier than books, way flimsier, way flimsier. We kept the Daily Bugle a tabloid, to keep it honest, ya know, Doubt it's gonna work, but, your Spider-man text, keep it coming, keep it coming – it's what keeps the tabloid going -it's classic tabloid material.

Peter: I've always thought so. - pause - Shakespear I believe, wrote the bible, translated it into the King's english.

J. Jonah: - gravely – Your smarter than me in these matters, Parker. I was always, I dunno, afraid to read Shakespear, like I could hear the doom bells the cloud-thunder-shrieks of Macbeth and nothin' but that with Shakespear's text...

Spider-man swingin thru the buildings..

Spider-man: Keep it comin' Keep it comin' Shakespear kept it coming with his text, his poetry, how popular was he though in his era, in his time, how much money did he make, they say he made a lot of money and was extremely I dunno, don't believe the tabloid reports.. if he was careful with money it was because he had to count every penny.. keep it comin', keep it comin' just like J. Jonah says, We're a capital pair, JJJ and I, He walks the earth, I wash the sky..

Shot of Mary Jane.

Mary Jane: I think... I think.. I'm pregnant.

Peter's thoughts: My Ann Hathaway.

Peter: ... wait.. you are.. you're – feeling enhancing glow – you're pregnant?

Mary Jane: No – I'm sorry, it's the weed.

Peter: What!!?

Mary Jane: I'm sorry, Peter, I really thought I was pregnant, but I'm not. I know I'm not.

Peter: But- but, I was going to be a father. I was going to have Spider-kids... Maybe twins..

Mary Jane: I am twimind on twins..

Peter: Oh.. well.. I mean.. I mean.. there's time.. there's time...

Mary Jane: There is.. there is...

Spider-man: So Mary Jane's not pregnant after all. I dunno. I had spontaneous visions of fatherhood, My whole existance had changed in an instant, and I had never even once thought of being a father before, the thought had never once been in my head. I was still too young in mind. But instan... instantaneous exchanges of experience... it's all a day in the life of a spider.

Felicia Hardy: Spider? I'm pregnant.

Peter: Wait, you are? You are?

Felicia: I really think I am. I really do.

Spider-man: Okay, one second. How did I meet Felicia Hardy. Oboy, this might take a while. Okay- here it is- She was burglarizing my house. That's how I met the girl of my dreams. The other one, I mean.

Peter: Jessica Drew was a street-kid. I met her on the street. She was thirteen.

Peter: Hi, wait, how old are you.

Jessica: Twelve, or thirteen I think.

Peter: I didn't... i didn't know there were children as young.. as you.. who were homeless..

Jessica: ..oh I'm okay.. I've got a good corner here.. you don't have .. a dollar or two to spare..

Peter: .. wait.. I've got ten dollars here...

Jessica: .. oh, thanks.. oh wait .. is that too much.. i mean.. no .. oh wait.. thanks..

Peter: .. are you often .. here.. in this spot..

Jessica: .. yousualy here at here or at the corner of fifth and seventeen...

Peter: I want to .. I want to see you again... here here's another ten..

Jessica: .. oh thank you.. thank you so much.. i'm rich..

Peter: .. I'm just.. maybe.. I'll .. I mean.. I'll buy you some books..

Jessica: .. wait.. that's okay.. i can buy some books from the dollar section already with the money you've given me..

Peter: .. i'll still... i'll still buy you some books.. if they become too heavy to carry.. i'll just keep a few of them at my house and rotate them for you..

Jessica: .. thanks... one book for now is okay....

Peter: ... i've got one with me.. i was reading it at the coffee shop but I'm finished.. it's called “Washington Square”.. it's one of Henry James's first novel.. his writing is complex.. but this book shouldn't be too difficult.. it's very elegant writing.. it's early Henry James..

Jessica: Thanks.. I'll read it... I'll get right on it, sarge...

Peter Parker / Spider Man – Tobey Maguire

Kraven the Hunter – Daniel Day Lewis

Mary Jane – Kirsten Dunst

Black Cat / Felicia Hardy – Chloe Sevigny

Daredevil / Matt Murdock – Hanno Raudsepp

Jessica Drew – Winona Ryder
 

Svetlana Black Widow: Winona Ryder

The Sandman – Thomas Haden Church

The Black Fox - Stan Lee , who is I believe the Black Cat Felicia Hardy's father

more casting later...