Justice League comic book who's who and what's what files

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DC Who's who and what's what Character synopses

Alexei Luthor: Alexei Luthor knows how to nuke Hollywood, with both nukes. One not even going in that direction. He is not an inveterate machievel. He is much too straightforward, blunt in his methods, if you will. He uses nukes after all, doesn't just invent them, like his underachieving brother in crime, Alexis. His, Alexei's that is, not his ne'r do well brother, is of fractal complexity, not inveterate. Order, not genetic chaos, X-men mutant style. Alexei knew and distrusted Joan Crawford, whose son was Houdini. Alexei knew he could use her son in his plans when he grew up. He was tormented by his ineffectualness in protecting her children from herself. Alexei Luthor knows/know crime, he has prepetrated and investigated enough of selfsame crime. He is not complex, criminally so. Alexei Luthor has frequently suspected he was Albert Einstein in a former life, but that's Alexei for you. He's that complex. He's also wondered if he was Albert Schweitzer. Maybe both, reincarnation can get messy. Albert Einstein was deeply involved in the invention of the atomic bomb, not silly Bohr and Heisengborg, and Alexei Luthor, his future incarnation, will know how to use it, apply Einstein's vast intellect, if you will. That's Schweitzer for you.

Batman : An inveterate machiavel. He plays the Justice League members both for and against each other. Either/or. He is a team player, the original. He works with the inveterate machiavel, Maxwell Lord, to bring a Justice monopoly to the Justice League, its four original members. Spider-man included. In the first movie, he is engaged in suspecting Wonder Woman, who is naked, of being an inveterate machiavel. A Mata Hari, if you will > sinister chuckle<. Hmh. Working for New Genesis. Metron was supposed to be Peter O' Toole, a friend and Virag of the Parasite Supergirl, the daughter of Joan Crawford. Batman believes in much evil, his own. He has frequently suspected that he was Hitler in a former life, but that's just Batman for you. It's why he needs a Robin to help him lighten up. Batman has a conscience, too much of one in fact, which should be obvious by now to anyone as smart as Batman.

Batman starts a world war, however without nukes, except in the media, which he invents, McCluhan style. Alexis brings atomic bombs into the equation. Maybe he is Albert Einstein, after all. Not Alexei. Batman wanted to prove he was Batman, all method actor-style. So he started a world war, Flash Gordon style. It took him a year, but that's method acting style for you. Daniel Day Lewis, Emperor Joker, takes three years, count' 'em, three, to work on a role for a boxer, for pete's sake. Trust him to start a rebellion. But back to Batman, who will never be played by Daniel Day Lewis. Batman invents protocals to kill each member of the Justice League, Batman- well, you know. He read and watched Al Pacino's “Looking for Richard” too many times. He will not keep Wonder Woman long. He is fired for this, unfair style. I forgot someone in the equation, forgetting style, but I might remember later.

So.

Batman spends the first Justice League movie investigating a very naked Wonder Woman.

Batman spends the second Justice League movie trying to recap protocals to kill each member of the Justice League, including a very naked Wonder Woman.

Batman spends the third Justice League movie trying to save a very naked Talia from death row.

What does the fourth Justice League movie hold for the future of Batman.

Braniac: Braniac is naked nude Talia's lover. He is a machine, Julie Christie style. Braniac believes in the inner music of Krypton, the inner music of the woman's body. He is a machine. Bergsion. Red Kryptonite won't affect him. Only Superman.

Riddler: He is Becket/Bekket. Not sure of the Spelling, but that's Riddler for you. He is typographics, coptic style He operates by the oral tradition of Nazi Germany. Hush, indeed. Kaboom. Ahhhh!

Joker: He is an asshole. Try saying that to his face. Just try. He'd like that. But he doesn't believe in killing. Those are his other incarnations. He lacks a sense of humour, unlike his other incarnations, who know a killing joke when they see one. The Joker will rot in hell but he is not an asshole. According to the feminists. Bizarro feminism. Snark. The Joker also believes he's the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler but he's probably right.

Baz Luhrmann could direct Tom McCamus in another Joker movie. He's good at writing assholes. Ethan Hawke has the most ideal definition of irony.

Bergson: Bergson believes in bringing smiles to a lot of people's faces. Have to read his book sometime. So I can write more.

Lois Lane: Naked Lois Lane is a naked female australian mobster. She trades her way up the corporate ladder in the sequel to 'Superman, the man of tomorrow'. She's gonna be corporate Lex. 

Poison Ivy: A wall-street trader in souls. An Enron woman. She is All the bad things which can be said about women, which are many. Many naked women and many bad things. She believes in both. Naked female souls are her specielty. Speciously so. She needs many female souls to fill her with at least one, like a number of angels on a pin. She loves Two-face because he reminds her of her soul.

Batman's Who's who and what's what files

Wonder Woman: She is an asshole. But there's more than one of her so maybe that explains it. She's sanctimonious. She talks too much. Way too much. About limousines. She doesn't know when to shut up. She's a hypocrite. She used to live in a penthouse. A PENTHOUSE, of all places for a superhero to live. Then she moved to the UN embassy. Prententiously. A vast improvement. Not so much. There aren't enough things I can say about this bitch. She's that multifaceted. In being a bitch. She once led the Justice League International, just to annoy me. She's just like that. I can't fathom why. She's deep, that one. I'm not even certain whether I ever led the League. I tend to recommend other people for that post. But I don't think I ever recommended her. Why in God's name would I do a thing like that. I'm not insane, despite my reputation as an urban legend. Honestly, I don't have a single nice thing I can say about her. I'm not Superman. And that's without the lasso of truth. Don't get me started. She is definitely the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler. And Mussolini. And Richard Nixon. And Genghis Khan. And Attila the Hun. And Stalin. She has more than one soul. Heh. She is Genghis Khan with a golden lasso. Brhiiingg! Hello Mookse, how's the Gripes. She also has a way of assassinating real leaders of the Justice League, Claudius style. I may have to protect her from divine vengeance someday. It's the job.

Superman: Don't get me started on the boy scout. He likes Wonder Woman, which is enough reason not to trust him.

Giganta: Giganta is an awesome woman. Just awesome. There is not a single bad thing about her. She is what every woman should aspire to be. She sets the bar. Real high. As high as her naked breasts, which tend to be naked along with the rest of her body. She's awesome. Just awesome. No clothes can hold her.