The Looney Tunes

The Looney Tunes

by Joss Whedon

Bugs Bunny: Eeehhhhh.... so what about the ehhhh... when did they take away the right to eehhh from children... i'm da one with attitude but it be like... i dunno.. lots of crates and boxes here .. lots of clocks and keys..

Daffy: lets get to work.

Bugs: yeah... you da one with da elocution not me.. how did you get so british by da way..

Daffy: The royal academy of acting.. it's all about the rr's .. and the qu's ... ahh.. i'm getting queeyzy about always pronouncing the qu's i mean the the 's with a th'.. a th'ss...

Bugs: So... we some vewy bad guys with crates and boxes ... what we going to do with them.. some vewy bad things..

Daffy: ahhh.. no.. wait.. okay... okay.. right .. so .. are we officially working for wayne enterprises..

Bugs: ... well see.. oboy.. dere was sort of a hostile takeover of wayne enterprises by bugs enterprises..

Daffy: .. but.. but .. that goes into the billions..

Bugs: .. it does? .. id do does?... i mean.. oboy.. oboy.. .. .. oboy..

Daffy: WHAT?! .. I mean.. whatdid you do bugs..

Bugs: .. i'm trying to think like.. maybe elmer can help.. we're not on the outs anymore.. we're quits.. he know about the cutting of the elm..

Daffy: .. oboy .. i've got to tell you about elmer and me.. he don't like my mooching on his women in fridges..

Bugs: ..ahh.. daffy no...

Daffy: .. it's like .. his house became my second customer.. my second cup.. it's like i lived in it.. like a homeless person..

Bugs: .. elmer is always known for doing his bit for the homeless.. but daffy why .. why...

Daffy: .. elmer.. i mean.. i dunno.. elmer and me.. we like dis.. we together for life..

Bugs: WHAT? .. but this terrible daffy..

Daffy: it is terrible daffy.. but daffy can't help.. being daffy... i even worked at a supermarket and just... well not technically worked there.. but technically did stuff there...

Bugs: HALP!... Daffy you gotta stop this stuff .. your gonna get us in deep shit...

Daffy: .. i know .. i know.. but so.. right now we in distrubution.. we're a link in the chain.. crucial.. a crucial link.. like a football position..

Bugs: .. foozball.. i done time in a mental institution and done foozball... it was after my suicide atttempt..

Daffy: I know.. I .. know.. I'm really sorry bugs.. i should have .. i have no idea where i was .. i just flaked out completely on our friendship - in tears – i just .. i don't know... i just don't..

Bugs: .. i'm a lot better now... but we .. we're going to change the future .. you and me daffy.. the future's our oyster..

Daffy: .. yeah... YeeeaAAHHH!!.... So.. wait.. I'm not sure i like oyster..

Bugs: .. okay .. wait.. the future's our melon..

Daffy:.. yah.. descartes.. yahy... wait .. who got the melon..

Bugs: The mystery of the universe.. on all this it depends..