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Thursday, October 29, 2015

... earth I Bruce Wayne had schizophrenia ... and multiple personality somehow.. although that seemed to extreme a phrase...

.. earth I Bruce Wayne was trying to figure out the future... the future personalities that plagued him by their incessant PRESENT-DAY need to be real in the PRESENT DAY... with a truly cruel avidity these future personalities insisted on this... they kept on coming back with almost an easy nonchalance.. to the present.. saying.. yeahhh yahh .. we here .. we're here.. and he didn't want a pity vote.. he didn't want the personalities feeling SORRY for him... he didn't want that.. he didn't want to do that cruel.. that cruel.. what he would call a cruel "game".. and what they wouldn't.. wouldn't call it at all.. a "cruel game" he'd be playing.. telling them he didn't want them to feel sorry for them.. the personalities.. more than voices.. more than what he'd somehow almost call more than mere voices.. if the voices in schizophrenia could ever be called "mere"... bruce wayne I still believed the voices of schizophrenia were future people talking to him from the future with no way of or somehow something else.. somehow having difficulty telling him they were talking from the future.. in any case, bruce wayne believed schizophrenia was truly a condition of talking to voices people from the future who somehow by the inveterate schizophrenia paradigm insisted they were talking to you in the present tense, in the present day, even the present instant...

     ... earth I bruce wayne .. he owed the cruel experiences of his past self.. the cruelty undergone by his past self.. he OWED his past self anxiety of the future.. a pleasant heaven sent anxiety of the future was what his future present future self owed the past cruelty suffering past self of himself.. still even after saying this he didn't want the personalities he talked to to feel sorry for him.. it wouldn't help for one thing.. it also would be a hollow pity for another.. pity was a strong word, he wished another.. the personalities somehow their incessantly insistant condition was that they fell asleep; that was why they couldn't meet him personally... but if by a tried and true relativity theory they couldn't wake up when he woke up and hence come forward to meet him.. they were merely personalities of a kind of future indexes multiple personality of earth I bruce Wayne's of the future, of the future tense.. they were all .. these future personalities.. an index of future people he would talk to .. four months?.. six.. eight?.. months.. a year full .. a year?.. in the future he would finally meet them as people?... maybe he would meet them as people a whole year from now.. and they were presently future people phantoms to the past .. to the past present tense which was the present day which was past to a year from now the future..

 ... but what bruce wayne the first OWED his cruelly suffering self who was going through a numbing soul anxiety in the PRESENT.. the present now a recent past now that he was writing all this down like Star Brand the second Ibsen hero Brand Kenneth Connell writing down his journal on a typewriter and then going off into the next room to lift weights and ruminate.. hanno bruce wayne I wouldn't have minded having some light weights in the house.. for convenience sake.. somehow even some light light weights more convenient than push-ups somehow just more convenient..

...  the weight upon his past self in THE PAST... the weight his past self felt upon himself but ONLY in the past not even in the present tense when he was writing and feeling an anxiety guilt.. like a profound true guilt felt in a surface guilt sense which was one of the truest most honest senses of guilt, a surface sensation.. a guilt he felt in the present tense while he was writing for the past numb soul anxiety of his past self walking home from tim hortons.. that walk home from tim hortons had gotten SO HARD .. so hard.. as his mother would say with great resonant breaths.. so hard.. so hard.. his walk from tim hortons would be... would have be.. a twenty minute walk which felt like an abyss.. an anxiety abyss of an eternity.. an eternity of twenty minutes.. and then lying in bed still feeling an eternity of deathly bore feeling.. a boredom literally boring into his soul like a construction machine engine vehicle.. the word "bore"dom literally came from that metaphor of a feeling of a construction device boring into one's soul... as he lay in bed.. and his future self felt he owed his past self an anxiety a deep deep anxiety a crawling boring anxiety of true happiness his future self owed OWED the crawling boring anxiety of his present day self lying in bed.. his future self owed nothing but to his past self..

   .... is all the past three long, long paragraphs also just as well as earth I bruce wayne every single word the true reality of the soul and nude body of nude Jessica drew.. is the past three paragraphs of earth I bruce wayne prose also three long, long paragraphs of nude Jessica drew prose.. about her nude self..?..

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