tom cruise.. become the hitchiker in texas chainsaw massacre..

in other words... become ford prefect..

take a huge HUGE kitchen knife and saw, saw, saw at your wrist until you see the ligaments.. I've done it.. it barely hurt didn't hurt at all in fact.. went to the hospital.. got it bandaged.. they said the wounds were VERY superficial.. said it a lot more politely.. I went home in a few minutes.. everything was fine..

my mother didn't react at all.. she was just annoyed.. because it meant to her I would not make it to a wedding..

my mother.. my  FATHER .. my FATHer not my frickin' mother... she went to the wedding.. MY father took me to dinner .. we both stayed home from the wedding.. we just went to a restaurant and had a pleasant conversation...

oh, wait, tom cruise, the nurses MIGHT leave, but they'll come back soon SOON with reinforcements.. so go away while the going is good... sorry for capitalizations.. DON'T forget your money MONEY lots of MONEY .. your labtop media net labtop.. and CREDIT CARDS.. lots lots LOTS of credit cards.. that should be it.. put it all in a satchel..
        .. . and a teddy bear if you have a teddy bear...

the thing is, tom cruise, these nurses might be used to cutters... these nurses might be accustomed to cutters.. as an actor and special effects man.. you might have to do something MUCH more extravagant.. use the silicon valley megan gale cut by the joker effects of U..P .. S..!!!!!... use UPS.. these nurses will be TERRIFIED of UPS...