Pages

Saturday, October 17, 2015

...the very first "the Uncanny X-men" issue... a relaunch again written by Brian Michael Bendis... issue #1...

"Uncanny X-men" issue #1...

Brian Michael Bendis: writer

Ed Benes: penciller

Jim Lee:  penciller

Brad Anderson: Colours..

Dan Green:  Inker...


magneto:  ... the first of many is the first of equals.. the evils of devil may care follies are the nonsense of duels many with lentils first in equals many evils dwa dawn the first of many.. the .. no let's see what comes first... brinngg?  hello mookse .. hows the griopose..

nude rogue alone in the audience:  yayy ayyyy yayy.. hehehehe

magneto:  ahh.. yess.. so anyway.. lokiing thru his papers... I must be getting enile.. imen senile.. this is silly very silly..  this is very strange.. I am SUCH an odd cuck cluck.. cluck clukc cluke clut klute clute.. an odd duck indeed this magnus fellow.. MAGNETO.. yes that's my name .. dunno wear it out.. I'm sorry.. so very very sorry, dear dear rogue.. ahhghghhhh...

nude rogue:  are you okay, dear father, dear father.. agghhh

nude scarlet witch enters:  they're coming .. quicksilver your brother magneto he's back I pulled him back..

quicksilver:  I don't want to be here.. I don't want to be here.. but I am your loyal BROTHA forver magneto..  we are both black men..

magneto:  thank you.. I mightily appreciate that magneto JUNIOR..

quicksilver:  yeh, hehe yeah.. son of magneto till the end..

magneto:  son of magneto I heartily like the sound of that .. yes faith heartily...

quicksilver:  where's pyro..

nude scarlet witch:  he joined the UNCANNY x-men..

magneto:  ahh HAH>.. clever of him.. very very clever pyro.. not devious at all .. no not devious at all.. I'm the devious believer of the two of us.. where's the aforementioned "alex"..

nude scarlet witch:  "bloogbbbb?... who who wot wots  sorry so sorry alex.. im just jest panicing..

magneto:  ah yes shame on me twice for thinking it.. not alex at all.. blob it is ... blooiiieebbbb... blobby boy harry Knowles..

blob:  here I am.. ahh sorry.. pyro's gone the way of the lifing lifting..


--------

at the uncanny x-men headquarters, pyro blob is sitting in leasuirely posture guy gardner FIRST JLI issue style...

pyro:  so sorr sorrggy ol' por boy matt.. so I'm the leader of the x-men unaccountable.. we've got it all in the rule book or Roberts order here.. so let's work on this what I'm going to do is a revisionist accountability for the team .. let's just get a role o]f the die here.. it's a maxi pad we're looking at..

nude Mexican big brother nude sister nude kitty pryde:  he's SO cool .. and dashing..

nude Maggie sawyer shadowcat nude:  this is weird.. so weird.. what's he pulling at ... who is he..

iceman:   I think he think's he's leader of the uncanny x-men.. and I think he's right..

Cyclops arrives..

Cyclops:  uh, pyro..

pyro:  yes, pop..

Cyclops:  never mind.. go right ahead.. - he leaves -

Pyro:  okay so the maxi-pad vision for hugh hefner's mansion..

Cyclops:  uh, pyro..

Pyro:  - like Xavier magneto - whhaaagghhttt??!!

Cyclops:  never mind..

Pyro:  So the truth is way way out there..

Cyclops:  uh pyro..

Pyro:  yes, master...

Wolverine enters sinisterly a nude sister beckons to him..

Wolverine:  Gentlemen must lead early.. here pyro here's some milk...

Pyro:  ahhhhh - throw's the milk on the floor..

Wolverine:  ahhh.. i'll get it.. - logan brooms up the milk with a silly witch broom -

Cyclops:  ahh.. wolvie.. we gotta talk about this demon demonic possession thing.. the milks not good.. it's tainted .. real tainted.. with e. coli.. ahhh .. that is so not funny.. insulin is the last thing you find in milk...

Logan:  yes master - he removes his mask - how'd ya like my moustachio...

Cyclops:  vermins.. just vermins man.. wicked vermin..







Crispin glover:  you callleedd.. heheehe... he is normal human now.. foor nowww.....

pyro:  he's my first recruit..

Cyclops:  uh, ah, good job pyro..

Logan:  Great GREAT job, pyro.. your leader as long as you want the job.. Xavier jobs magneto Xavier is a bit over the underhill now.. here i'll drink that milk.. ahhh jest kidding, jest kiddin,' kiddowalk greenhorn, don' dunno kill book of kells kell cull me , mon... mon day mon juice.. the noni spring calls.. get a noni plant and eats it raw.. awwwgeerrggmmmmwwimmm....

nude rogue arrives:  ahh guys...

Cyclops:  uh , guys..

Wolverine leads the attack..

All:  AHHHH...

nude shadowcat:  DIE BITCH DIE YOU KILLED MY MOTHER ... nude ms marvel was my moofer.. boo hoo sniff..

nude rogue:  boo hoo sniff sniff..

logan: sorry sorry maybe we ken kennet be fwiends.. fweinds friends foh life kinneit kin or krikit.. let's go pal  .. he takes off with nude rogue in a truck a four weeler van..

_______

nude rogue:  how'd you get those claws, wolvie..

logan:  it hurts to tell it.. every time, kid, every time...

----

nude mystique:  I'm allways nude in jellybear handcuffs.. I am a turdy bear with feces blue smeared all over my nude body nue... I have a jellybean complexion.. I have porcupine skin .. I have huckleberry skin.. something wicked this way comes and it is nude me.. I am wicked third degree cow bell underhide crotch burn skin underneath my cow cleft butt... it stings me in pleasant FIIIIRREEE pain fire cone pain perpetually which gives me a fire in my butt a rocket up my nude butt.. a bottom pain fire that I crave in my bottom nude.. FIIEERREEE.. a fire cone pain.. a coniferous pain.. not decidedly deciduous.. a I have an autum leaf BRANDED upon my cow bell cleft butt.. it is a pleasant autumn genocide autumn nude... I have a genocide butt politic.. nude butt me ahoy!!....

nude mystique:  I am froxen froxen frozen speechless like a fox nude mystique speechless FROXEN frog skin me I am a jerk nude a traitor to clothed women everywhere I am a nude jerk underneath the laughing wicked gaze of sorority glee.. wAHHHH... I neeeeed a mann... a Thomas mann... I have a scarred Thomas mann butt perpetually scarred burned third decree incision burn in my cleft butt bottom sawyer my butt schordched SCORCHED by Thomas mann.. by my prick which elongates like a tendril out of my autumn vagina eternal into my butt to penetrate it like a rusty screwdriver.. I have a jerk vagina.. a jerk penis have I.. a CHARMING woman clothed in a white sweater and faded blue jeans LAUGHS at my jerk vagina because I am sooo crruuueelll... such crruueelll autumn am I...

nude mystique:  my anus hurts pleasantly as I pick it scrambling crumbling leach anus have I.. a crumbling autumn anus have I.. it leeches me.. it caves in rapturously autumn caving splendorous fox leeching me inside out inward..  put me jerk in a bottle zattanna.. ZARTAN help me..


nude holly Madison nue holly plays nude nue rusty mystique nude nue mystique rusty hangover...
nude nightingale mist:  hehehe.. I'm really a little playful nude trickster named nude wonder-imp.. hehehehe.. boigles de mind.. I'm an imp from a nude nighteen year old girl dimension nude.. I come from the nude dimensaion woman.. nude dime dime woman nude dime dime.. whatsisi.. who are you.. I'm c3-po.. ahh.. wait nude wonder imp here.. ahh.. wonder where we are going to .. r2.. let's do this dive..

eagles talons burst like wet balloon vulva maggots outward...
the bubble frame burst vulva is a picture frame painting by john turner.. ike turner knew him.. bubble vulva burst red maggots out of mephisto's mouth.. mephisto is nude nightingale mist.. outside hell she is powerless.. a hallucination virtually nude she is.. within hell she is ALL-POWERFUL.. CHEAT!

               CHEAT!

               CHEAT!

              CHEAT!

                 squirrels dead squirrels ...

             we are all stuck eternally in the dreaming after 9/11 which the MUSLIMS islam of Afghanistan no other began.. nude nightingale mist is an nude ISLAMIC nude woman afghani who wears no veil over her nude vulva .. the only real vulva in Afghanistan.. she wears no burka-vulva.. weares no burka oveh her pubisvulva.. only MEN follow her.. they did 9/11 as entrepreneurs without her AUTHORIZATION.. she is SO grateful her vulva is so GRATEFUL to them.. she's read antony und Cleopatra.. .. enobarbarus or some such other.. her vulva is so GRATEFUll.. she wasn't smart enough to do it all herself.. but she will WILL be smart enough to orchestrate 10/11 .. with some real smart guys robot boys chuffers..


Zartan:  tyler durden here.. i am still nude nightingale mist nude lawyer empress nude palpitine.. nyam nyam..nude nightingale mist wrote finnegans wake.. the mist is a hallucination.. if you see the fuzzy print you see the finnegans book work is a hallucination.. a mysoginistic rhapsodic funny with words wakeian dream book.. vagina vagina.. it is a vagina hallucination finnegans wake is.. women hallucinate their vaginas.. not a single woman has a vagina a single one.. they all belong to me.. I am inside their vaginas.. women all have eagles beaks in their place of their vaginas.. I nude nightingale mist arranged this...  through vagina castration computer scientology programming.. SCIENTology.. pure unadultered SCIENCE.. let's reverse time, ladybugs and gentry...

True Tyler durden:  I am Zoom.. but everyone knows that by no.. Zoom?... Zoom?  the actor supervillain?.... okay no one knows who I am but I am far from a hologram.. I am a hallucination of wonder woman.. I warned her not to get near Maxwell lord.. but did she listen  .. .nnoooo... she almost hallucinated herself nude out of existence.. she was terrified of being a nude woman tied ovaries first in a golden lasso on the true Clothed female, nude female visual sensation for CLOTHED nude women... she was absolutely terrified.. she called me a villain but tyler lionheart durden is no villain.. Brad is certainly no villain.. he keeps nude female supervillains like nude wonder girl nude troia nude donna troy nude wonder tot in sweatshops nude but he Zoom be no villain.. I .. am SLIPKNOT... beware nude wondy undy nude.. be vewy vewy caweful I'm hunting wondy-wabbits ... I am monogamous you certainly my DEAR are not.. hence you nude Diana am is are a villain nude and I most definitively quintessentially of nude wondy nude Diana wonder dust nude clay am a HERO..

Zoom - the very first Dc comics hero.. nude wondy nude Diana was the second.. Superman III by ridley scott came third.. Batman came fifth... nude black canary came fourth.. nude giganta came sixth..

Zartan: tylder durden:  i am a doormouse done one.. won.. i eat owls.. owlsoup..

Zartan: tylder lionheart:  I am forsooth no king for tomorrow.. Macbeth is not me but I am Macbeth.. nude lady Macbeth's nude decapitation French revolution style was my fault all my fault but I am no capitalist like Robespierre.. I am only a just a jew a jew Saint-Just.. Danton was Ross Claudius.. Hamlet's nefarious uncle.. Hamlet is my son.. he speaks soliquy's as songs from stygian quarters and dimes.. dimers domer domer is my father uncle .. ahhhgghhh domer .. what I"M A DOMER NOW...

Zartan lionheart: tyler lionheart durden: durdern:  I new nude nightingale mist when she was a nude little rainbow brite girl nude.. but she was NOT winona nude.. she was fresh as a daisy.. the blond pubic basis for daisy in the great Gatsby.. nude daisy was ALWAYS nude and girlfightish nude in the greatest novel of the twenthieth century, far, far greater than Ulyssess.. even greater than finnegans wake.. ss. s. sss.. nude circe does ss.. nude uma will only play her on strings as a marionette corpse nude uma nude after I'm done killing her.. won't be hard.. it'll be her live burial in celebritydom... the best nude uma nude circe corpse scum EVAH...

tylder tyler durden out for the moment..

poor whittle nude victimized nightingale mist nude..nude nightingale mist:  .... mmmm...
nude winona emma nude frost a forest of nude mist:  I am the nightingale noon of runes my misty butt nude runes of mordor .. I am pig warlock.. I am the funniest warlock among the pig hobbits.. I am the designer jeans nude in them nude transparent designer jeans white faded into my milky white thighs cream-coloured thighs and buttocks mine... I am breast bare .. cryiie eiiieeee.. I am weep weep windigo gut me pig am I belly pig am I.. a tire fat pig belly am I... I am pig breasts..


nightingale nude mist mystique nude holly nude mist: Madison am I nude.. I am inkjet nude butt hair misty rainbow mist nude in the sparks of aleopecia sin almighty god.. I am encore nude ready for your staging.. I am ready for mou akt.. I am da funniest butt nude there is..

angel:  yess my dirree.. we'll get freedom force in action togetha... all togetha now FREEDOM FORCE..

Cyclops:  X-FACTORRR...

angel:  whuzzis...




The White Queen, borth White Queens birth, have ordered all the uncanny x-men present day thousands of reams of footage scrapped..
The White Queen: scrap the footage ye footage mus' be scrapped.. like the pirate cargo booty.. I have boots in my boonshem.. shem believes ye scrap le footage.. I am never going to know how you scrap the butler.. but this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship hanno.."

nude jean brayton nude white queen:  my nude legs straddle infinity Mobius loop my nude butt into straddling woes of larceny and tres uncles in noonday chimes in monks harbour I will never know my nude mut butt in - finish it kids


nude jean brayton nude white queen played by savannah Samson senior

nude rogue played by very young nude savannah Samson junior.

nude rogue:  I am dead to know my nose in wrkinekle ruddled nothing...

nude Athena:  I am the light of runes vagina moon plenty agriculture silver in night silver dusk..

ares:  it is time to begin the work..

nude Athena:  haaahhh.. I time for French revolutions...

ares:  yess.. I am a low digger..

nude Athena:  indeed.... I am a high digger aristogratic aristocrat.. a gold digger am I of aristocratic stratospheric heights mountains of stars astronomy of nude breast butt vagina button of butt anatomy nude Athena.. the light of my butt nude is glistening in showers of stars and comets.. I am ready to ve be a lice vermin..

ares: .. no.. no you're not..

nude Athena:  - crying - yes yes I am.. I am a dog.. a welp in Britain.. my nude butt is cained in britan by a thatcher nude brain palsy.. I am have been welped by a brain.. a living brain matrix neo.. a young nude woman.. I .. am.. brittania..

ares:  no.. noo .. you . you can't be..

nude Athena:  I AMM... I am nude Ishtar - breathing heavily silently - I am a heaving matrix brainwomb.. I .. am .. cybotron..

ares:  cybotron.. cybocon artist cybotron..

nude Athena:  - what - laughs heavily matrixly - what con artist we...weee..

ares:  no me con artist me forever..

slipknot:  I am a jew..

they are in shock except slipknot...
nude white queen nude savannah:  I am nude butt vapours moist.. a seasons mist of spice butt nude me.. mine mutt butt is spice orange and rainbow mist red violet turquoise rainbow mist spice red butt nude... is mine hahahahaha all mine and emma nude.. a swan milk white butt nude am I.. ahh my task you will but reveal it for I am Gertrude stein nude Guildenstern herself nude the whats and und the ifs and und the da commas and the periods red blood vulva of my menstrual cramp blood-red hemoglobin topology my breasts nude my butt nuder bit buts and my ifs of my butts nude my vulva puke-orange with kool-aid delight..

nude winona emma nude:  I am a pig red.. a pig big of evolutionary delight molasses of over my nude pig vulva.. you are a fish vulva and a I am a pig vulva.. all is right with the worl' of things..

nude white queen savannah nude:  youurrre sooo cuuttee .. spoza trinks atz coot.. you soo cuttee

nude winona: I be soo coot.. an ol' coot cute pig piglet ol' coot emma nude em I a nude m pig am m I..





magneto es: Daniel day lewis

nude Athena:  nude wonder woman true nude joan severance nude

slipknot rocket red dimitri:  Robert downey junior

 













No comments:

Post a Comment