kim possible: .. the time of a ring which sets off my mind... aAUUGGHHH... a buzzing Brownian motion ring which threatens to detonate my brain cells as if they all belong to Bell Telephone company.. or Telus.. Tell us indeed the truth.. for Kim Possible's day is come.. and she will always have her trusty cell-phone.. which she trusts with her life.. and she would be dead many a time if she did not have her sound-sensitive sound spectrum sensitive voice activated cell-phone.. cell-phones save lives.. especially Kim's.. and she is no silly wench no more.. now she is a punk..
Sean Bean, the blue alien: .. ahh .. Kim.. we meet again.. we are the mighty opposites of forever nebulas .. it will never be an ending for our struggle toward the apocalypse .. yes' 'till the end my friend..
Kim Possible: yes.. sniff.. 'till the end my friend.. does it have to be this way, uncle Blue..
Sean Bean, the blue alien: . .it was this way since the beginning.. when we fought in ancient minoa.. you were very good with a bull.. very good with a bull-fight.. you weren't even impeded by that damn corset they forced you to wear..
Kim Possible: but that corset almost KILLED me.. I couldn't even move.. during a Bull-FIGHT.. if I hadn't had my cell-phone to distract the Bull with a charming melody - - deee dee dee dee - that Bull most likely in its rage would have KILLED me...
Sean Bean: ... yess.. i'm sorry to say.. Spartan athlete Shigo trained that Bull .. trained all those Minoan Bulls to kill their prey...
Kim Possible: .. will she ever reform, uncle Blue...
Sean Bean, the blue alien: .. she has been SO bored with the past few millenea.. time.. the very passage of time itself bores her... she finds each century more boring than the last.. she found the twentieth century the most boring by far.. but this boredom which lasts CENTURIES of her life are very wise patient financial investments on her part.. investments which accrue over centuries with her taking no interest in the money or securities in question.. that may change soon.. in 2017.. tonight..
- James Horner music begins -
Shigo: .. I .. own .. Swizterland.. now.. it's a done deal.. sorry.. Swiss ladies and gents.. Shigo is now entitled to a country and the Swiss will do.. next up.. the Vatican.. they have some holdings ever since the Nazi era which belong to me.. Shigo will sleep no more.. ahh .. - her hands are bloody with blood and gore - this is a sorry sight.. just got back from film distribution offices in los angeles...what is that knocking .. a sound in my FUCKING head.. don't need it.. - she lifts up an axe and tries to brutally decapitate herself - FUCKING AXE doesn't WORK!!!.. FUCK THIS BUYER BEWARE consumer scheme.. I'm calling Ralph Nader and the better business bureau.. knock knock.. who's theire..
the voice of Kim Possible: wittle me.. singing - dee dee de dee...
Shigo: ... ahhh.. cute.. thank you Kim for reminding me of your existence.. thought that knocking sound in my head was something more sinister .. maybe a Wagner symphony from his Niebelung Ring cycle.. the hammer and anvil of a Norse God.. yes.. Kim .. you might as well know now who I .. no.. Kim.. you already know who I am..
the voice of Kim Possible: - from another country .. as far as another galaxy -... ahh.. Loki? .. you their on the phone?..
Tom Hiddleton: .. hello.. hello.. no.. I don't need to speak to the gravel company.. their someone I'm trying to reach to warn about the dire designs of someone who is almost like a sister, nary a lover, not a compadre.. someone I grew up with as a child.. rakes.. shovels.. pick-axes.. is this home hardware.. okay.. do you sell any tools at the cheap.. my funds are a bit low.. I need to start learning martial arts PRONTO.... their is somone of my pantheon who knows them all and a few dozen more that are unrecordered by last syllable of spoken time.. I haven't even learned one martial art yet.. and it's the best place to start with my tools is home hardware.. like the old peasant did.. I want to be a Boxer rebellion.. so .. can you help my friends home hardware.. please stop yelling at that young boy who works their.. it's rude.. I don't think you should be such.. please.. please stop.. it's very rude.. stop yelling at that boy.. I don't care what your rank is at that store .. stop yelling!... HOW CAN YOU BE SO RUDE!.. FOR GOD'S SAKE!!.. what?.. he hung up...
Shigo: .. back in Switzerland.. Time to die, Loki.. I've got my sugardaddy.. He's uncle Blue.. I've got the cash.. Kim is a spot of rotten putrefied flesh soon.. for annoying me like a mosquito does..
Kim Possible: .. eeep... Loki?..
Shigo: .. quiet.. shhhh... the world is ready to rumble.. Ragnorack is happening in the sweat of a few months coming.. tomorrows, tomorrows, and tomorrows.. creeps in theis petty pace from day to day.. out out brief annoying Kim gone like a candle in the wind snuffed out good and a younkers.. for a Volcano is erupting beneath the shoes of your badbrat boyfriend.. he's trouble.. and he can't sing.. I can.. opera.. Wagner.. Verdi.. he can't even sing his way out of a shampoo commercial.. This is inane.. and war is inane.. the Pentagon is truly inane and only inane like a weasel.. I am ready to die for my cause without collecting a cent of my money.. But Shigo will love on.. Love.. for the grey is coming.. and time is ripe for weaving.. a new weaving religion is coming to end our leaden days of letters.. the day of the atheist secular present Godless age is over.. and the Age of the Norse Goddesses is coming.. for I am the Goddess who preceded the existence of the equally annoying Jehovah.. who had men write that annoying bibble book..
Kim Possible: .. bibble book.. what?.. I was going to call it a bibble book.. when I was a little teeny girl I thought it was called the bibble book.. I did..
Shigo: .. it's over, Kim.. the Bible has been mocked, ridiculed out of existence.. it is bad prose.. children could have written it..
Kim Possible: sniff.. I always thought so..
Shigo: . before you die, Kim.. I'll give you a taste of Nirvana.. of the Norse Nirvana.. i'll show the true religions writ which inspire the work of Wagner.. a religious writ written before any man conceived of the silliness of the bible.. their was a religion that once had the name of literature.. woman's literature.. the only true literature..
Loki: .. hello.. telus?.. I had something to do with writing the bible..
Shigo: .. I am bringing back the golden age of religion .. atheism is dead for a billion years and will be given electroshock therapy after that if it tries to come back.. Woman's religion is the first wave of the future.. the lighthouse beckons.. the morning rises a Norse hammer and the red fire begins .. fire beard on prophet is for the men who follow.. and I will be followed.. for.. I .. AM.... SIF!!!!
Kim possible screenplay written by Hanno Ridal..
Sarah Polley is Shigo
Sean Bean is the blue alien
Jennifer Love Hewitt is Kim Possible
Ewen Bremer is her troublemaker boyfriend
ben kingsley can do the voice of his squirrel animal sidekick...
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