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Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Harry Knowles "Star Wars: Episode VII: The force awakens" review for the year 2001 or the year 2002...

It's not good.  What happened to the Dark Side.  A Wondy-sized Hamburger.  Let's Eat.  It's EPISODE SEVEN.

   So.  An Environment.  We're back in Dagobah.  The Marshes of Cylon.  A Kool-Aid Electric Test.  Electric Eels of the Force are on Dagobah.  It's hot as an Aquarium here.  So.  It's punishen' heat.  It's punishen' the Hot Shots.   Like Damo.  Who treats Soci like Garbage.  Like it's what she is.  Stay Hot, Damo, Stay Hot.  Damo gives Soci a Word-Kool-Aid Acid Test.  Like Jeffrey Dahmer.  See, Damo's the Hannibal Lektor of this Flic.  It's like a Demo-reel of the Lamb of God.  Soci's a lamb.  Damo's kind of shy and gentle and always says thank you.  And actually means it.  Damo tells Soci to be patient, and to wait for good tidings, for good night and good luck.  All good things, Soci, All good things.  Soci is kind of like early, early, early Angelina with Love and Romance.  But Damo is still Dahmer or Hannibal or both but kind of cares like it means something to him which he is.  Finally, Soci's got an Ace up her sleeve.  A Joke-Card.  See, I think our Soci is actually rather sneaky, even deadly, a deadlier-than-thou type is Soci.  And I don't think little sweetgums Soci is above some tinker-tink deadly mind-games with an ace up her sleeve for poor Poison Mistress.  Yes, Poison Mistress may be an Imperial but she a poow mishguided Wowman Impewial, who.. anyway.. it's Soci.  Soci is Keyzar.  Bryan Singer could have made this movie.

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